Chapter Nine

The rest of the afternoon passed by in a hectic blur for both Jenn and Steph, who after lunch headed off to an equestrian centre to tackle the cross-country course. Jon on the other hand had a more leisurely afternoon, opting to stay behind at the country hotel where they had lunch. One full on morning of horses had filled his equestrian quota for the day and he was more than happy to let the girls off to do their thing.

After waving them off he breathed in the fresh, rural air and decided to take a walk around the hotel’s expansive grounds. Surrounded by copses of woodland interspersed with wide rolling spaces of green grassland, Jon could see why the area was known as a golfer’s haven. Golf had never interested him much but Tico, on the other hand, was an avid player. His thoughts flickered to his band mates and how fortunate he was to have such loyal friends. Tico, the band’s drummer, a calming force throughout many turbulent times, Dave the keyboardist, hugely talented and classically trained, ever the joker of the group, Hugh the bass guitarist, quiet and unassuming and finally Richie, the lead guitarist and Jon’s backbone in life. Together they had formed one of the greatest rock bands the world had ever witnessed and over twenty-five years later they were still top of the bill-boards.

‘Not without sacrifice though’, Jon grimly thought to himself. Dorothea, the love of his life, the cool chick in school, the one woman who was never afraid to tell him to piss off, the one who had raised his kids and promised to love him for the rest of his life. Yes, she had finally given up. Too many years of leading the lonely life of a rock stars wife had taken their toll and she’d eventually told him she just couldn’t do it anymore. It had been a huge surprise to Jon, he had no idea she felt the way she had or he would have fixed it.

But would you have Jon? What exactly would you have done? Given up the band? I don’t think so! The little voice was back in his head again niggling at all of his emotions. He quickened his pace along a sandy path as if to leave his thoughts behind but they persisted.

She loved you but it wasn’t enough was it Jon? You’d have stayed home more if it was, you’d have brought her with you more than you did if it was Jon, you’re an asshole Jon!

Shaking his head furiously he fought with the voice, practically jogging down the path now.

‘Damn it I did try! She never wanted to come anywhere, I couldn’t make her come with me!’

You made it impossible for her to join you. She couldn’t just abandon four kids could she? You knew life was more fun on your own didn’t you asshole?

‘NO! I never…..’

Well guess what genius? You’re on your own - what you gonna do now? Not so great after all is it?

Choked up and fighting for breath, he threw himself down on a grassy spot. Christ was he deluded? Did he really just have an argument with himself? His forehead was damp with perspiration and he gulped great breaths of the damp air. His heart racing he glanced around his surroundings. An early afternoon mist was rolling in off the hills and was slowly enveloping the trees and hedges. Everywhere was eerily still, even the birds seemed to have stopped chirping. There was nobody else around to see the dark haired man slumped on the grass, his back heaving for breath, clumps of grass in his fists. A sorry sight to behold for here was a man obviously broken by the world and it’s contents.

Closing his eyes, Jon slowed his breathing until his heart no longer felt like it would burst from his chest at any moment. He tried focusing on nothing, just into a blank darkness, anything to rid himself of that monstrous voice. A muffled vibrating sound coming from his jacket interrupted the calming process. Pulling the phone from his pocket he was about to switch it off when he saw it was Richie calling him. The perfect solution to getting rid of the nuisance in his head. Composing himself he answered,

‘Hey bro, what’s up?’

“What’s up??” There was a definite ring of annoyance to Richie’s voice. “What’s up man is that I turn up in Jersey to surprise my buddy who hasn’t been himself in a while but guess what? My buddy’s not there! In fact my buddy I’m told is not even in the fucking country!! Nice man, real nice!” He finished with a sarcastic drawl.

“Aw shit Rich, sorry man I meant to call you but I got caught up in th………” Jon was interrupted by a now very irate Richie.

“Bullshit! You’ve run away! I can’t believe you’ve actually lost you’re balls totally. What the fuck man?”

“Hang on a fucking second Rich! I have NOT run away! I am on vacation with my daughter!” Jon was so not able for an irate Richie, not right now at least.

“Hey dude, you wanna call it that, sure, go right ahead. I’m just pissed you didn’t bring me! I’m divorced too ya know!” Richie had run out of steam now and was returning to his normal relaxed state.

“Yeah man I know, I just wanted to spend some time with Steph y’know? We haven’t seen much of one another lately and I ain’t about to let her give up on me.”

“Aw man, I get it, more than ya know but just because things with Dot have gone pear shaped doesn’t mean the rest of your family is gonna give up on you and that family includes me and the guys, you know that right?”

“Yeah man, I hear ya! I just got stuck in a rut there for a while and time away from it all seemed like a good plan.” Jon realised he was getting a very damp ass from sitting on the grass and stumbled to his feet, the phone crooked under his jaw.

“What the hell are you doing anyway? What’s in Ireland?” Richie couldn’t understand why if someone needed a break they wouldn’t head for a hot, sunny climate. Living in L.A most of the time, he worshipped the glorious heat of the sun.

Walking back along the path towards the hotel, Jon thought about the relaxed couple of days he’d just spent.

“Peace and quiet Rich, that’s what’s here………and horses apparently!”

Richie was silent on the other end of the phone for a moment, his brain trying to process the information when it finally dawned on him.

“Ahhhh, I get it, Steph on a riding holiday?”

“Not really, more like a shopping holiday. We’re here buying some horses for Steph to compete back home.”

“You’re buying horses? Bro, excuse my ignorance but what the hell do you know about buying horses?” Richie was convinced his best friend was in need of serious mental therapy.

“Sweet fuck all Rich”, he answered truthfully and added smiling to himself, “But we’ve got a lady helping us out who knows all about it.”

Richie’s ears pricked up instantly and he pressed the phone harder to his ear,

“A lady huh? I see……. And how did you find this lady? Is she young and innocent or old and twisted?”

Shaking his head and laughing, Jon thanked God for Richie’s blunt as ever questions.

“Neither man, neither. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get to meet her when we get back! Look go see my mom, she‘s been complaining she hasn‘t seen your ugly mug in a while! I‘ll be back in a couple days.”

“Mmmm, your mom’s cooking sounds like a good idea. Hurry back! We got work to do!”

Chuckling Jon said goodbye to Richie and snapped his phone shut. He knew a mention of food would get of him, worked every time! Their conversation had lifted his mood though and he looked forward to their night at Karen’s tonight. Even though he was yet to meet her, Jenn had made her out to be a lot of fun. Spending another evening with Jenn also had a particularly pleasing feel to it. Checking his watch he hurried his step back to the hotel, all the angels in heaven wouldn’t help him if he kept Steph waiting!