Chapter Thirty Three

The view from the oval window offered no more than a black ink that stretched infinitely into the darkness. Blowing out an impatient breath Jon restlessly drummed his fingers on the smooth rim of the window as he stared out at the empty sky. He had jumped on the first flight from Newark direct to Dublin that he could get but with the time difference it would be close to 6am in Ireland before he landed. Working out that was less than an hour away, he stretched back in his seat and tried to make some sort of sense of everything he’d heard in the past few hours.

Karen had told him that Jenn’s parents had been driving home together from a day out somewhere when they’d been involved in a head on collision with an articulated freight truck. They’d both been rushed to hospital and had still been in surgery by the time Paul had managed to get Jenn on a flight home. She didn’t make it in time, her father had succumbed to his injuries first and her mother, although making it through the surgery went into cardiac arrest shortly after. The doctors had been unable to save her and Jenn had arrived at the hospital not ten minutes after. Jon bit his thumbnail hard trying to get his head around what she must be going through. Sweet Jesus! It was all like a bad movie script, surely to God this much crap couldn’t happen to one person in real life?

He’d rung Paul back while he was waiting to board the flight. Poor guy had sounded as shell shocked as he felt himself. He’d also sounded somewhat relieved when Jon had told him he was flying out there, no questions asked, no answers needed. Paul had assured him he would take over Steph and the horses until Jenn came back and not to worry about anything. When Jon had asked him did he really think she would come back, he had been silent for a time before eventually saying he honestly didn’t know but he hoped so.

Sinking his head back into the cushion, he closed his eyes and tried to focus on how he was going to help her get through this. He had no idea of the torment she must be going through. He also had no idea about how she was going to react when she saw him. He hadn’t stopped to think about that, they hadn’t exactly parted on the best terms on Friday. A tapping on his shoulder jolted him out of his musings as the air steward asked him to prepare for landing. A nervous knot lodged itself in his stomach as he buckled his seat belt and gazed out at the slowly brightening sky.

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Jenn stared at herself in the mirror as she slowly finished dressing in her childhood bedroom. Dark shadows ran under her dry eyelids in stark contrast to her pale and drawn face. The house was still mercifully quiet, Karen had gone into town to get some supplies and Mark had gone back up to Dublin for the night. Ever since the news of her parent’s accident had gotten round, people had been calling to the house in a steady trickle of condolences and sympathetic faces. Today was going to be busier still, the funeral director was bringing her parents home to the house this morning to be waked until the funeral mass tomorrow. Tradition was still strong in most rural areas of Ireland and there was an unspoken protocol when it came to funerals. The coffins would be set up side by side in their bedroom and from the moment they entered the house to the time they left for the church they would not be left unattended. Jenn had never been big into mass or praying for that matter but her parents had instilled in her a strong sense of religion and she was honouring their wishes as best she knew how.

As she looked around at her old bedroom, her eyes travelled over the photographs her mother had so proudly had framed and hung on the wall. There were many of Jenn back in her competition days, each one had a faded ribbon hanging beside it proclaiming the year and the placing she’d received. There were some really old ones of her out hunting when she’d still been at school, the grainy images standing the test of time on the wall. Her parents had always stood fast behind her, supporting her no matter what direction she had decided to go in and they had taken every opportunity to proclaim her successes to anybody who cared to listen.

The rain pounded on the window as she closed her eyes and willed the nightmare that was surrounding her to simply go away. The past few days were a blur, minutes had merged into hours, hours into days. Airports, hospitals, doctors, nurses, priests, neighbours, it was if she was watching it all from the outside, like at the movies. Only there was no popcorn here, just a mountain of homemade sandwiches, cakes and never ending pots of tea. If there was one thing the Irish were good at, it was funerals. The amount of food brought to the house so far by friends and neighbours would rival the biggest of food fairs.

A noise from the kitchen told her Karen was back, no doubt cooking yet more food to cater for the crowds that would arrive later. Jenn was blessed to have her, Karen had quite simply organised everything, she didn’t know how she would have gotten this far without her and of course Mark. That man was one in a million, the pair of them had quite literally dropped everything to be with her. On her way to the kitchen, she paused by her parent’s bedroom and took a quick glance inside. Mark had dismantled their bed yesterday to make way for the coffins and as was custom the mirror was covered with a black sheet and the curtains drawn tight. Chairs lined the walls waiting for people to come pay their respects and a picture of the Virgin Mary adorned the far wall. Jenn was pretty sure her parents would have approved and that everything was being done the proper way.

Karen was standing in the middle of the kitchen, hands on her hips gazing around her when Jenn walked in. Close to a hundred clean cups and mugs were lined up neatly on a sideboard, plates and cutlery piled on another. Heaps of sandwiches were covered in trays on the kitchen counters and a big pot of what smelled suspiciously like Irish Stew was bubbling on the stove.

“Jesus Karen - I feel awful I haven’t helped you with any of this - you must be exhausted!”

Karen spun around hearing her voice and smiled worriedly at her. “Hi sweetie, not at all!” she waved her arms dismissively, “I had lots of help from everyone.” Pulling her into a hug, she rubbed Jenn’s back soothingly, “Did you get any sleep?”

Hugging her back, Jenn smiled and lied unconvincingly, “Yeah, a few hours thanks. What do you need me to do?”

“Not a thing, here come and have something to eat,” she pulled a chair out for her, “You need to keep your strength up, it’s going to be another long day.”

Jenn shook her head, “I’m not hungry thanks, I’ll just get a coffee.”

Ignoring her friend’s look of disapproval she busied herself with the kettle. “How long till……Mum and Dad get here?” The words sounded so surreal, like she was just waiting for them to come back from shopping.

“Shortly I think…”

Karen sounded distracted and as Jenn looked up she saw her hastily check her phone and then stuff it back in her pocket. “Everything ok?”

“What? Yeah sure!” she smiled brightly, twisting her hands in knot, “Just checking I’ve everything covered, now are you sure you won’t eat something, even just a bit of toast? Please?”

The sound of the doorbell gave Jenn an excuse to avoid her latest plea, “I better get that, back in a min.”

Opening the door, she welcomed Fr. Flanagan, the parish priest. In his early seventies, he had been her parent’s priest for as long as Jenn could remember and had been invaluable in helping to organise everything. His presence today though meant the arrival of her parent’s bodies was imminent and even as she looked out at the rain beyond him, she could see between the trees the outline of the two hearses slowing on the road. Feeling herself start to shake she allowed herself to be guided by the elderly man into the living room while the funeral directors moved the coffins to the bedroom. Karen came and sat with her, quietly holding her hand until Fr. Flanagan came to let them know that everything was ready.

Thick candles on two mantles cast a soft light through the shadows as Jenn slowly entered the room. Karen followed close behind gently squeezing her hand in support as the priest stood silently at a respectful distance in the corner. As she took in the sight of the two simple wooden caskets side by side, her chest tightened and she fought to catch a breath.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this!” she gasped as she backed hastily out the door.

Leaving Karen and the priest looking worriedly at one another she flew from the room. Flinging open the back door, she ran out to the little garden her parents had so lovingly tended, her shoulders heaving in an effort to breathe. Panic raced through her body as she fought to regain control of her lungs. The wind and rain whipped mercilessly around her frail figure, instantly saturating the thin black sweater she had pulled on that morning. Black dots swirled in front of her eyes forcing her to grab a nearby fence support to stop her knees from buckling. Suddenly just as darkness threatened to engulf her, strong arms encircled her from behind and a familiar voice sounded soothingly in her ear.

“Easy baby, I got you, easy now…..”

Disbelievingly she twisted to look into those blue eyes that even now set her heart alight. Rain soaked hair flopped forward on his head dropping beads of moisture on his face as he held her close, swaying gently as the wind buffeted their bodies. Collapsing against him, she burrowed her face inside his coat, breathing in those familiar comforting spices as the tears that had refused to surface for so long finally began to fall freely.