Chapter Fifty One

“Dorothea! Hi! Come on in……”

Jenn smiled brightly at the stony faced woman standing before her. Taking a step back, she opened the door wide to welcome her in. Dorothea’s long dark hair hung loose around her shoulders, a knitted beret pulled down snugly over her ears. Her face, pale and drawn, stood out in stark contrast against the dark scarf and coat she had wrapped around herself. Nodding curtly to accept Jenn’s welcome, she stepped into the hallway just enough for Jenn to squeeze the door shut behind her.

“I have Stephanie’s clothes and a few other things she wanted.” Placing the holdall she was carrying on the floor, she looked around her surroundings with a thin smile. “I take it she’s here?”

“She’s just finishing up her soak in the tub – she worked hard today!” Jenn stood awkwardly in front of her, nervously smoothing her hands against the back pockets of her jeans. “She shouldn’t be too much longer….”

The silence hung heavily in the air between the two of them like a suffocating blanket. Dorothea continued to survey the hall with her lips drawn in a tight line while Jenn frantically fumbled for something to say. Jesus Steph, hurry up!

“Em…..I was just making us some hot chocolate………would you like one while you wait?”

A flash of irritation that briefly crossed Dorothea’s face as she checked her wristwatch was gone in the blink of an eye as she replaced it with a softer, albeit grim smile.

“Knowing my daughter’s bathroom routine I may as well, thank you.”

Smiling cautiously, Jenn showed her into the open plan living area. “Make yourself at home; I won’t be two seconds making the drinks!”

Dorothea nodded and sat down stiffly on a recliner, her lowered gaze still taking in the worn but comfortable furniture, the glowing fire in the small hearth and the soft lighting illuminating the room. Moving quickly across to the kitchen, Jenn hurriedly finished preparing the hot drinks, adding an extra sprinkle of chocolate shavings to the frothed milk on Dorothea’s. God knows the woman needs something to sweeten her up!

She carefully balanced the mugs and some cookies on a narrow tray as she moved back into the lounge to set it down on a little coffee table beside her visitor.

“Here you are………it’s really gotten quite bitter out there hasn’t it?” Referring to the weather, Jenn strained to find an ice breaker as she took her own mug and settled into a corner of the sofa.

“We more often than not have snow on the ground at this time of year.” Without removing her coat or hat, Dorothea lifted the mug to her lips in a gloved hand and took a small sip. “Your house is very nice.” Her wandering eyes landed on a large framed photograph sitting on the bookshelf. “Your parents?”

Jenn followed the other woman’s gaze and felt her own eyes mist over as she took in the happy picture of her parents, laughing and hugging each other as they posed for the camera. Feeling a lump start to lodge in her throat, she wrenched her eyes away from the photograph.

“Yes……” She nodded quietly, staring into the creamy chocolate froth in the mug that she cradled in her lap.

“I……..” Dorothea paused as she met Jenn’s eyes for the first time that evening. “I’m very sorry for your loss…”

Raising her head to look across at her, Jenn saw a fleeting look of genuine compassion fill Dorothea’s dark brown eyes. The face that up until now she had only ever seen drawn in tight lines of anger and bitterness, visibly relaxed into a warmer version of the mother she was.

“Thank you, it’s been hard….” She tightened her grip around the mug as she felt her fingers start to tremble. It was always easy to appear bright and cheerful on the outside when her thoughts were kept occupied but the moment somebody offered a token of sympathy, those walls came tumbling down all too easily. She took a deep breath in through her nose in an effort to chase away the tears that were beginning to gather at the corner of her eyes. “But I can’t dwell on the past, it brings no good.”

Her heart nearly stopped as she suddenly realised how that had sounded. Obviously she was referring to her own past but Dorothea’s past was very much at the moment in Jenn’s present. She cautiously raised her eyes to gauge what reaction her words had brought and to her amazement saw a solitary tear fall down Dorothea’s cheek. This was definitely not what she had expected to happen this evening.

“Yes, I can agree with you there but all the same,” Nodding slowly, she made no effort to wipe the glistening teardrop from her cheek. “Our past is our history, without it we wouldn’t be what we are today.” Pausing she took another sip of her hot chocolate before adding, “I know I wouldn’t be the same person…..”

This wasn’t at all how Jenn had envisioned this conversation going when Dorothea had first knocked stonily faced on her door. The woman seated across from her now seemed defenceless and tired. A pang of sympathy for her curled around Jenn’s heart and for a moment it felt as though there was a kindred spirit between them. The spell was broken though by the arrival of Steph, fresh and smelling beautiful from her marathon soaking session in the bath.

“Oh, hey Mom! When did you get here?” She slid across the polished floorboards in a pair of fluffy pink bed socks that formed part of the assortment of clothes that Jenn had left out on the spare bed for her.

Dorothea seemed to snap to attention as she reverted back to the present, rising to give her daughter a tight hug.

“Hi sweetie, I’m here a little while – you enjoyed your bath I guess?”

Jenn watched as mother and daughter embraced; side by side she could see similarities in their features. “I gave you a shout when your Mom arrived!”

Steph released her mother and flopped down on the sofa beside Jenn, her young face fresh and slightly flushed from her bath. “I had my iPod on, never heard you!”

“As usual…” Dorothea looked wryly at Jenn while smiling fondly at her eldest child. “You will learn Steph is permanently attached to that thing.”

Jenn smiled back politely, her mind was spinning, this whole situation was a little too surreal to take in.

“Yeah Mom, whatever!” Steph stuck her tongue out cheekily at her mother, her crystal blue eyes twinkling. “You should see what Jenn has on hers – nada!”

“Guilty as charged!” Jenn shrugged and grinned back at her. “Just think of all the fun you can have updating mine.”

“You better believe it!” Laughing at Jenn, Steph took on a more serious tone as she looked across at her mother.  “So Mom, is it really bad at home? Are they everywhere?”

The laughter lines suddenly disappeared from Dorothea’s face and the strained weary look clouded it once more. She nodded grimly, “Pretty much but don’t worry honey, I’m sure this will all blow over in a few days.” She smiled reassuringly at her casting a quick sideward glance at Jenn, “It should be okay to come home in a few days.”

“Is Daddy okay? I haven’t talked to him since he called Jenn this morning.”

If an atomic bomb had just dropped on the house it wouldn’t have been able to blow apart the tension that suddenly gripped the room when Steph mentioned her father. Dorothea’s smile seemed frozen on her face as Jenn felt her stomach turn inside out. As much as Dorothea was making an effort to be civil, an actual mention of him in front of the woman he was leaving her for was pushing the boundaries a little too far. In fact Steph might as well have just pushed them off a cliff.

“He’s fine.” The icy undertone was firmly back in Dorothea’s voice as she set her mug down a little harder than was strictly necessary on the coffee table, the bang making Jenn jump. Getting to her feet, she crossed over to kiss her daughter on the cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow okay?”

“Sure Mom. Thanks for bringing my stuff over.” Steph gave her a quick hug from her position on the sofa, her face slightly apprehensive as she felt the atmosphere in the room change.

“Jennifer will see me out, don’t you come outside after your bath, you’ll freeze. I love you.”

“Love you too Mom.”

Dorothea turned to walk out the room, a nod at Jenn conveying a silent order to follow her. For a millisecond, Jenn thought about taking the cowardly way out and just waving goodbye. Yeah, that so wasn’t going to happen. Steeling herself, she followed the swish of Dorothea’s long coat and the click of her heels out to the front porch, grabbing a coat on the way. Once outside, the wind whipped Dorothea’s loose hair around underneath her hat, the cold instantly making Jenn’s teeth begin to chatter.

“Let me make one thing very clear.” Dorothea swung to face her once the front door has slammed behind them. “I am prepared to be civil for Stephanie’s sake and for her sake only. My kids are my life and they will always take priority over whatever other feelings I may have.”

Jenn stared at her dumbfounded. Five minutes ago this woman had been chatting amicably to her over hot chocolate and now she had turned into a version of the Ice Queen that C.S Lewis would be proud of. “I…..” She opened her mouth to speak only to be silenced by a gloved finger that Dorothea held up.

“Be under no illusions that you and I will ever be anything more than acquaintances. As far as I’m concerned you are an employee of my husbands and I shall only ever deal with you in a professional manner.” Sparks flew from the dark pupils of her narrowed eyes as her words sliced through Jenn’s brain.

Jenn’s teeth stopped chattering with the cold as a fiery anger welled up within her.

“My family is going through HELL at the moment and you” Dorothea vehemently jabbed a finger in Jenn’s direction, “have had more than a small part in making that happen!”

That was it. Jenn could control herself no longer as she unleashed the fury that was about to make her explode.

“Hold on one fucking minute Dorothea! Who the fuck do you think you are to come over here to MY house and speak to me like this when I am the one currently taking care of YOUR daughter?!” Her body shook, no longer in response to the bitter cold but from anger. “How’s about you be under NO ILLUSIONS that your marriage break down has ANYTHING to do with me? Because from what I know, you and Jon were over LONG before I ever knew anything of him.” 

She gasped for air as her heart pounded in her chest. “If you’re looking for someone to blame, take a good long look in the mirror before you start throwing daggers in my direction because I can tell you one thing for sure here and now – I will NEVER take any crap from you – EVER!”

Dorothea had the grace to look momentarily stunned at her outburst. Amidst her angry thoughts, Jenn guessed few people had ever spoken to her like she just had. And she wasn’t finished yet, not by a long shot.

“Do you think you’re the only one in the world that’s ever been dealt a crappy hand? I’m sorry for your troubles but I came over here for a JOB! For a chance at a new start in life and I will NOT apologise for that. I will NOT apologise for falling in love with the man that happens to be your ex-husband and also happens to be my employer as you so nicely put it!”

Dorothea stared at her long and hard before laughing dryly, a sneer forming on her face, “Quite the speech Jennifer. Such a shame really considering not two days ago Jon, who by the way is still legally MY husband, told me he’s not sure if this ‘thing’ you two have going on is serious or not.” 

Smirking as Jenn’s face fell; she turned on her heel to go to her car.

 “Sounds to me like you’ve fallen in love on your own honey.”