Chapter Forty Seven

Jon sucked in a deep breath before knocking lightly on his eldest kid’s bedroom door. Steph’s voice came through lightly from the room.

“Yeah?”

Swinging the door open, Jon smiled softly at the sight of his daughter sat cross legged in the middle of the floor surrounded by a chaotic mess of papers.

“Hey baby………whatcha doin?”

“Trying to decide what course I’m gonna study………I’ve gotta be enrolled somewhere by next week before Mom has a meltdown!” Rolling her eyes at him, she got to her feet to give him a hug.

Squeezing her tightly he dropped a kiss on top of her messily tied up hair. Releasing her he wandered over to her bed and sat down on the side of it, gazing in amusement at the scrunched up pages torn off the various notepads.

“Not an easy decision huh?”

Sighing she flopped back to the floor leaning her head on his knee.

“Nope, I just can’t see past the horses right now so I dunno what direction I should go in with all this!”

Jon dropped a hand to gently squeeze her shoulder, “It’s up to you honey, just make sure it’s something you’re interested in, don’t do it just for the sake of it, your Mom has your best interests at heart you know?”

Tipping her head back, she smiled sweetly up at him, her bright blue eyes mirroring his own.

“I know! It’s not all bad; some of these courses are actually kinda neat!”

“Good!” He nodded in approval, “So have you got a few minutes to talk to your old man?”

Steph swivelled around on her knees to face him, draping an arm over his thigh. Her young face, smooth and fresh gazed up at him.

“You’re not that old Dad!” The sides of her lips twitched slightly, “Yet!”

Jon chuckled at the impish look on his daughter’s face, “Thanks Steph, good to know!”

His face grew serious as his heart began to pump a little faster. He had a pretty good relationship with Steph and the thought that he was possibly about to endanger it frightened the hell out of him.

“The thing is Steph, firstly I want to apologise to you….” He swallowed hard as she looked him with a degree of confusion in her eyes.

“For what?”

“For not being here when your Mom told you about……” He hated saying it out loud but was saved by her interruption.

“About the divorce?” Her eyebrows lifted in apprehension and then relaxed as he nodded.

“Yeah…..I should have been here for that….” His voice was gruff with emotion as his gaze dropped to the floor.

“Dad……. it’s okay………I’m fine with it!”

Now it was Jon’s turn to raise his eyebrows as he looked at her in surprise, “You are?”

Leaning back on her hunkers, Steph blew an errant strand of hair out of her eyes.

“Well…..yeah….obviously it sucks but it’s not like we didn’t know it was coming.” Shrugging her shoulders she fiddled with the edge of the eiderdown hanging off the bed. “To be honest, I’m kind of relieved…….does that make sense?” She looked up worriedly at Jon, her teeth anxiously biting her bottom lip.

He gazed sadly at her, “Yeah it kind of does………..I know it hasn’t been easy on you kids these last few months.” Reaching a hand out to her, he pulled her into his arms on the bed, squeezing her tight to him. “And for that I will always be sorry.”

Steph wrapped her arms around him, snuggling her head into his chest. “I love you Dad, more than anything, I just want you and Mom to be happy again and if splitting up is what it takes then that’s okay by me.”

Jon’s heart felt like bursting with sadness as he held her tight. “I’m so proud of you, you know that?”

Sitting up, she kissed him sweetly on his face, her eyes beginning to glisten. “Okay, okay you’re gonna make me cry! Moving on!”

She grinned at him and slid from his arms back to the pile of forms on the floor. “Next topic of conversation please!”

“Actually there is something else we need to talk about….” His stomach was doing somersaults again and his mouth had gotten incredibly dry.  “It’s to do with Jenn…”

Steph’s eyes widened in concern, “Is she okay?”

Lifting his hands to calm her, he shook his head, “She’s fine. It’s nothing like that.”

“So what then?” She looked at him in puzzlement as she waited for Jon to continue.

“Well, I’m not quite sure how to tell you this but I need you to know something about me……and her.” He looked up quickly to try and gauge her reaction. He was expecting to see anger on her face not the small smile that was forming on her face.

“Dad, you do know I’m gonna be seventeen in a few months right?” Steph folded her hands in her lap and looked patiently at him.

“Uh…..yeah…..but….” Jon’s mind was whirling in confusion.

“So that means I’m not a little kid anymore!” She rolled her eyes at him as she stated it in a very matter of fact manner.

Jon furrowed his brows in concentration as he leaned back on the bed and waited for her to continue, confusion still rattling his brain. He had no idea where this was going.

“Dad, I know! “

She shook her pretty head at him as she went on, “I’ve known there was something going on with you two ever since we came home from buying the horses, I’m not stupid you know!”

His jaw practically hit the floor as he looked at her in shock. “You have? How?”

Grinning at him, Steph winked and shrugged her shoulders, “It’s a girl thing Dad, we just know these things!” Bending over to shuffle some papers into a pile she glanced back up at him, “But I’m glad you’re telling me about it, the guessing game was starting to drive me a little crazy!”

Jon blew out a long breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. The realisation that his little girl was growing up was really starting to hit home.

“And you’re okay with it?”

Continuing to stack her papers into a haphazard pile she nodded, “I had to think about it for a little while but the more I’ve gotten to know Jenn, the more I’ve grown to like the idea. She’s pretty cool you know?”

Chuckling quietly he nodded in affirmation, “Yeah, I do know that……”

“Good!” Straightening back up, her smile faded as she posed her next question at him, “Does Mom know?”

The relief on her face was clearly evident as Jon nodded, “Yeah, your Mom knows.”

“I’m glad, that was worrying me a bit, there’s just one other thing though Dad….” She fixed him with a look that Jon recognised all too well as one she’d picked up from her mother.

 “Don’t screw it up okay?”