Soundtrack

If any of you wish to find the four tracks featured in Fields of Gold on iTunes they are listed as follows;

Last Kiss  - Boyce Avenue - Cover Collaborations - Vol. 1

Chasing Cars - Piano Tribute Players - 35 Piano Pop Classics

Impossible - Piano Tribute Players - 35 Piano Pop Classics

Fields of Gold - Eva Cassidy - Songbird

A Final Note

So there you have it guys, Jon and Jenn's story is complete, for the time being. I hope it finished up as you all hoped it would, I was an emotional wreck saying goodbye to them - I feel like I've lost part of my family!

There is a new story in the works, a collaboration with a wonderful lady who is as excited about it as I am - we have high hopes for it! It is, however, only in the very early stages of planning but when the time comes, the link will be posted here and we would love it if you would all be so kind as to check it out.

Finally one last personal thank you from me to all of you. Some of your comments really touched me and I am so glad that you were able to take this story from my heart into yours. Simply amazing! Thanks for being such loyal readers and I hope to be back with the new one soon!

So, with that in mind, farewell for now and before I go I'll let you in on a little secret - a little birdie tells me that Jon and Jenn are currently walking hand in hand down a white sandy beach with a deep red sun setting behind them - it's SO romantic! *sigh* :)

Epilogue

A gentle breeze from the tiny arched window ruffled the underside of Jon’s hair as he checked his appearance in the antique oval mirror on the granite wall in front of him. Tanned and healthy looking, his brown hair flecked with sun lightened golden highlights nestled atop the clearest mind he’d possessed in years. Straightening his deep purple tie once more, he stared back at his reflection while he took a deep breath. Show time Jonny!

Stooping to exit the low door, he walked straight into Richie who was looking ridiculously cramped in the small corridor.

“Seriously man! How small were people back when this place was built?” He winced as the top of his head hit off a low lying rafter.

Jon chuckled as he squeezed past him. “Well you never heard of tall monks in ancient history class did you?”

“You’ve got a point!” Richie acquiesced with a shrug of his broad shoulders. “You all set?”

“Most definitely, let’s go.”

Pushing against a heavy oak door that they once again had to stoop to get through, the two men walked across the flagstones to shake hands with the two people waiting their arrival.

“You look great Jon!” Sue smiled her approval as she kissed his cheek, “Very handsome!”

“Thanks Sue, glad you’re here!” he laughed back at her as he moved to shake her husband’s hand.

“Paul! You made it! Thanks for coming!”

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world!” he pumped Jon’s hand enthusiastically as he smirked over at Sue, “We have some shopping lined up for over here anyway!”

She rolled her eyes as she drily replied, “Yeah not the type that we can fit in our luggage though is it? More darn horses!”

Chuckling Jon stepped back to take up his position beside Richie. In the midst of all his smiles he felt a little flicker of disappointment that his boys weren’t here. It was for the best, even though Dot and Jenn had long made their peace with one another, this occasion wouldn’t have helped her progress in her treatment. It had eventually come to light that she had been secretly battling depression for years but without getting the help she needed it had nearly destroyed them all. Thankfully she was doing much better now with professional help and for the most part everybody was on good terms.

A nudge from Richie dragged him back to the present and he turned his back to everybody as the first strains of music filled the tiny church. Try as he might he couldn’t resist turning around when Richie blew out a low whistle of admiration by his side when the main door at the bottom of the aisle opened spilling bright sunshine onto the wooden pews.

Steph was the first to come into view, floating up the aisle looking every inch the beautiful woman she was turning into. A deep purple halter neck flowed gracefully to her sparkly toes, a pretty lilac bouquet with matching purple ribbons fluttering gently from where she held it clasped against her tiny waist.

Following at a sedate pace behind her was Karen, radiant and blossoming in an identical gown to Steph’s with the exception of the extra silky material that had been added to accommodate the by now unmistakable baby bump. Smiling she took up her position beside Steph just across the aisle from Jon and Richie as they all turned to watch the bride make her entrance.

Jon, blinking in the bright sunshine that flooded the ancient church in a golden glow held his breath as she came into view. Her left arm was linked with Mark’s right, dressed smartly in a tailored suit with a tie in the same purple hue as Jon and Richie’s. Her dark hair floated in soft waves to her bare shoulders, a few strands kept in place by the stem of a magenta orchid that curled softly from behind her right ear.

He swallowed hard as a tell-tale ball of emotion began to form in his throat. His eyes travelled down the length of her body, drinking in the intricate detail of the cream figure hugging bodice that swooped away to a plain floor length skirt. With just a slight bounce it flowed gracefully from her slow moving hips disappearing in a creamy pool behind her. She looked exquisitely simple and elegant.

Reaching the foot of the altar where Fr. Flanagan had now joined them, Jenn’s mahogany eyes shined bright never faltering from the lock they shared with Jon’s. Mark, his emotions starting to get the better of him slowly removed his arm from Jenn’s and kissed her softly on the cheek. He extended a hand to Jon, shaking it solemnly in a firm grip as his eyes glistened with pride. With one final smile at Jenn, he stepped back to stand beside his wife allowing Jon to face Jenn, their hands interlocked in front of them.

Fr. Flanagan welcomed the small gathering of people before him with outstretched arms and began the short ceremony. The elderly priest could not recall a happier union of two people in all the years he had served in the rural parish nor one that he approved of so strongly. The devotion had been clear to him from the moment he had first seen Jon by the young woman’s side at that terrible time when she had been at her most vulnerable.

Lighting a candle in remembrance of the two people who had brought Jenn into the world he turned to gently clasp the couple’s intertwined hands with his own.

“They may not be here today but under the good Lord’s watchful gaze they are looking down on you both today and wishing you well as you undertake your journey in life together. I doubt they could have chosen any better for you Jenn. May their eternal souls rest in perpetual light.”

Jon gripped her hand a little tighter as Jenn smiled back at him, the dark pools of her eyes glistening as she spoke softly, “I doubt it either.”

“I now invite you both to declare before God and his church your consent to become husband and wife.” The priest stood back a step and waited for Jon to commence his vows.

He spoke clearly and with confidence, the creases in his smile soft as he laid bare his love for the woman standing before him;

“Jenn I’ve always promised to love you and protect you; today I’m sealing that promise for all eternity. You are the light that I leave on in the dark to guide me home, you are the reason I smile and you are my best friend. I promise to let my love for you never diminish and today I give you my heart, soul and allegiance without condition, completely and forever.”

Sniffles could be heard from both sides of the altar as Jon’s sincere words melted every heart in the church. Karen, smiling through the mist that was clouding her eyes discreetly handed Mark a tissue, tears running unabashedly down his face.

Jenn composed herself for a moment before she began to speak;

“Jon you walked into my life when I needed you the most and now I give myself to you completely. I will always carry you in my heart, cherish our memories and stay by your side until our final sunset. I will go wherever you go, do whatever it takes to watch you, to guide you and to find you if you are ever lost. You are the true love of my life and I hereby pledge the rest of my life to you, forever.”

They gazed at one another in silent harmony for a moment until Mark broke the spell by noisily blowing his nose. Chuckling Jon winked over at him before returning his happy smile to Jenn. When they had exchanged rings and completed their simple wedding declaration, the priest uttered the words they had waited a lifetime for.

“What God joins together, man must not separate. May he enrich you with his blessing as I pronounce you husband and wife.”

The deafening burst of applause that spontaneously erupted as their friends rejoiced couldn’t break the bond between them in that moment. Gently caressing Jenn’s chin with his thumb, Jon tipped her face up to his as they melted against one another, lost in the symbolism that they were officially ‘forever’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you ready for this baby?”

Jon gazed tenderly at his wife as they stood together at the top of the cliff behind the tiny church that they had just married in. She ran her fingers over the smooth glass of the bottle that she held one last time, watching the gulls rise and swoop in the warm breeze.

“I’m ready.”

She was at peace, there were no worries in her head, nothing to distract her from this most perfect of all days. She had travelled a long way on her own, now she was no longer alone. Her companion for the rest of her life was standing by her side, patiently waiting for her to finish this journey and embark on a new one, with him. Together.

She closed her eyes and hugged the bottle tight to her chest, drawing in a deep breath of the salty sea air she had grown up with. It was time to say goodbye.

With as much strength as she could muster, she flung the bottle out across the calm sea watching as it gracefully made its dive into the frothy peaks of the small waves below. Jon’s strong arms encircled her as he laid his chin on her shoulder, placing butterfly kisses along her neck. Leaning back against his frame she gazed into the ocean until she was quite sure there was no sign of the little bottle that contained her final farewell to both her parents and to Steve. Those final words that she had never got to say were scribbled in private by her own hand and now bobbing gently in the current that would take them away.

Away from here and away from her new life so that she could look to the future with no regrets. 

None at all.

Chapter Sixty Three : Impossible Heights

Eight Months Later……….

The beating of the large flags sailing high on their posts in the warm Ocala sunshine provided the only noise as a hushed silence fell on the vast sand arena, spectators crammed into the bleachers for as far as the eye could see. A lone horse and rider cantered rhythmically from the gate into the centre of the arena. The horse’s glossy bay coat shone like a new penny, toned and chiselled muscles rippling under a supple skin. Stopping to salute the judge’s box, the rider turned out immaculately in white breeches, long polished leather boots and a tailored show jacket enhancing her petite frame, momentarily glanced left towards the VIP Tent before she smoothly gathered the horse in hand and cantered away.

Jon nervously bit his fist as his eyes followed the horse and rider’s every movement. He couldn’t ever remember being more nervous, not even the first time he got up on stage in front of 50,000 screaming fans all those years ago. No, this gut twisting feeling was in a league of its own. At his side, Dorothea squeezed his arm hard, betraying her own nerves. Together they watched as the rider waited for the bell to ring and then circled to canter down towards the first of the twelve enormous fences that decorated the arena.

A pin drop could have been heard across the field as everybody’s eyes followed the progress of the pair around the course. The rhythmic blowing of the horse’s breathing was magnified tenfold in the silence, the only pause coming every time the magnificent animal leaped carefully over the brightly coloured poles. 

Approaching the combination fence alongside the tent where Jon and Dorothea stood watching from, everybody seemed to hold their breath as they cleared the upright fence, one stride to a skinny parallel and then two strides to a maximum height oxer. A small ripple of applause came from the bleachers that was abruptly hushed by the rest of the avid audience. A tense silence resumed as horse and rider cleared the water spread with only bare millimetres to spare invoking a collective gasp from the spectators. Everybody looked to the fence judge to wave his flag indicating a fault but to everyone’s relief the flag remained motionless by his side.

Only two fences remained as the rider firmly checked her onward going horse. A neat jump over a vertical left only the last, a related distance to another maximum height parallel. One stride, two strides, three strides…….all watching counted the horse’s individual canter strides as he met the fence perfectly on the fourth one. Touching down on the far side, his heels flicked effortlessly over the back bar and the crowd erupted into a thundering and rapturous applause. Cheers and screams of delight echoed around the stands as the rider pumped the air with her fist in a victorious salute, a broad grin on her face.

“YES!” Jon jumped up in the air with a fist pump to match his daughter’s, “Way to go Stephie!”

A delighted grin creased the corners of his blue eyes making them sparkle as he turned to hug and kiss Dorothea who was laughing and crying all at the same time. Arm in arm they watched proudly as Steph galloped past the bleachers saluting the crowds who cheered her on. Going the whole way around the arena, euphoric applause followed them and as she galloped down the long side past the VIP area, she blew a kiss towards her parents, beaming triumphantly.

Fellow owners and competitors crossed the tent to clap Jon on the back and congratulate Dorothea on their daughter’s first Grand Prix win at the tender age of seventeen, an achievement in itself. Thanking them all, Jon turned back to the arena just in time to see a slim, athletic looking brunette with a bouncing pony tail tied under her now customary ‘Team Jovi’ baseball cap bound over to meet the horse and rider. He felt his heart swell with happiness as he watched Steph lean down from the horse to fling her arms around her ecstatic trainer, ear splitting grins on both of their faces.

Amidst his joy he briefly contemplated how if things had gone differently not eight months ago he most likely wouldn’t be witnessing this happy scene. Raising his face to look up at the cloudless azure sky he silently offered up a quick prayer to whoever or whatever it was that had made her choose to stay. He would always be eternally grateful.

Dorothea joined him at his side, her eyes following his gaze. “Go.” She spoke softly as Jon turned to look down at her in surprise. Her soft brown eyes smiled back up at him, “I think there’s somebody other than our daughter you need to congratulate.”

He stared at her in wonder for a moment thinking again what a difference these past few months had made before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. While the divorce had by no means been easy it had in a way brought them closer.

“I’ll be back!” Grinning he promised to return, as much to the delight and whoops of the spectators he vaulted the barrier in front of their table and jogged across the arena to celebrate with his daughter and newly announced fiancé.

“We did it baby, we did it!” Jenn proclaimed happily as she flung herself into his arms. Her eyes beamed with happiness as Jon lifted her off the ground to swing her off her feet, the discreet diamond ring on her fourth finger twinkling as it reflected in the bright sunshine.

Holding her tight in his arms, he looked triumphantly over her shoulder to where Steph sat happily watching them from aboard her victorious horse.

“We sure did baby...........we sure did!”

Chapter Sixty Two

Folding the throw she had been so comfortably snuggled under just a few minutes ago, Jenn sighed as she laid it over the back of the sofa. She had no idea what Karl and Nancy were doing here again but it would bug her if she didn’t find out. Looking down at the crumpled sweat shirt and pants she had been lounging in she decided against changing. She reasoned that maybe if she looked like crap then they wouldn’t stay long!

Hearing voices approaching from outside, she turned to face the hall door, her best impression of a welcoming smile plastered across her face. Nancy came cautiously in first, looking around her until she saw Jenn standing in front of the fire. A bright smile slipped from her face as she looked at her in horror.

“Oh MY Jenn! What happened to your poor face?” Rushing forward she stretched out her arms to embrace her.

Jenn winced slightly as a sharp pain stabbed through her rib cage, smiling through it she gingerly accepted the hug.

“Hi Nancy, just a bit of a bad tumble off one of the young horses, that’s all!” She looked pointedly over the older lady’s shoulder at Paul. “Nothing to worry about!”

Paul nodded indicating he understood her silent request not to reveal the real cause of her injuries.

“That’s right, don’t worry Nancy, she’ll bounce back in no time!” He cheerfully confirmed the story and then made his excuses to leave them to catch up. “Lovely to see you both!” With one final supportive look at Jenn, he escaped out the front door.

Karl, as handsome as ever in his golden years fondly kissed Jenn’s cheek once his wife had released her. Motioning for them both to sit on the sofa she had just vacated she took her own seat in one of the armchairs.

“So what brings you both to Jersey…….again?” She smiled warmly at them in an attempt to make the question sound quite not so blunt.

Nancy looked at her husband regretfully before answering. “Well, when we heard about your poor parents we just couldn’t believe it!” She slowly shook her head at the apparent memory. “Sending a card…..or flowers……well it just seemed inappropriate!”

Jenn remained silent, her face slightly quizzical as she took in the sympathetic looks from the couple.

Karl nodded at his wife and leaned forward nodding while she continued. “So we thought it would be best if maybe we left it a while and then came up to offer our sympathies in person.” Nancy smiled warmly at her, “You’re very important to us dear!”

Relief washed over Jenn as she nodded in understanding. They just wanted to wish her well, that was all, no hidden agenda it seemed.

“Thank you both………I appreciate it, truly I do.”

An awkward silence ensued as the pair of them sat nodding and smiling sympathetically at her from the sofa. Jenn’s mind scrabbled desperately for something to say.

“So…..I would offer to take you to dinner somewhere but…” she glanced down at herself and then apologetically continued, “……as you can see I’m not really in a fit state to go anywhere.”

“Goodness no, we don’t expect that!” Karl exclaimed loudly.

 “You must rest Jenn!” Nancy nodded vigorously beside him in agreement.

“Oh don’t worry! I’m being well taken care of!” she laughed lightly, thinking back on all of the fussing Jon had being doing over her. “So how have you both been?”

Over the next half an hour or so they exchanged pleasantries and general chit chat about a variety of things. When Jenn enquired as to how they were enjoying retirement there was however an audible change in the atmosphere. She shifted uneasily in her seat as the older pair exchanged worried looks.

“Well you see there’s actually something else we wanted to talk to you about, more like a proposition really!” Nancy’s age lined face looked hopefully at her.

“Okay…….” Suspicion underlined Jenn’s voice. “Go on…..”

“We still live on the farm where Steve was raised, since we’re both getting on in years we’re hoping to start to take things a little easier.”

Karl interjected, “There’s a lot of upkeep involved you see, general maintenance and the like. When Steve was a kid, we had so many horses around that we needed quite a few staff to keep on top of it.”

There was an uncomfortable pause at the mention of his deceased son. Clearing his throat he continued, hands clasped together on his knees as he looked earnestly at Jenn.

“The barns haven’t really been used in years, we sold most of the horses after…..well what I mean is it’s not much to look at right now but it wouldn’t take a whole lot to get it up and running again.”

Jenn narrowed her eyes slightly; Karl was starting to fidget nervously with every word he spoke. What was he getting at?

Nancy, noticing Jenn’s change in demeanour smoothly interrupted her husband’s ramblings.

“Basically honey, we would like to buy a small retirement place on the coast but we don’t want to sell the farm, we don’t think Steve would have wanted it to go to strangers.” She clasped Karl’s hand for support and took a deep breath. “So after countless nights lying awake thinking about it we’ve decided we would like to offer it to you, sort of as an inheritance gift of sorts.”

Taking in the stunned expression on Jenn’s face she quickly added, “After all, if things had worked out you would have been our daughter in law so we would have been passing it on to both of you eventually anyway.”

Jenn stared at them, her mouth agape as she tried to digest what they had just offered her. This was a dream, surely? She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to find the right words.

“I…..I don’t know…… what to say..…” She slowly strung the sentence together, her mind whirling.

“It’s a lot to take in, we understand!” Nancy reached across to take her hand. “You don’t have to give us an answer straight away, we’re in no rush.”

It was all Jenn could do to sit and make conversation after that bombshell. Sensing they needed to give her some space, the couple stood to leave after a short while.

“Take all the time you need honey, you know how to reach us when you’ve made your decision.”

Nancy gently hugged her farewell along with Karl and together they left, leaving Jenn standing in disbelief in front of the ebbing fire.

When she heard the front door close, she turned and slowly sat back down, staring straight ahead of her. Her own farm? Wow, it was something she had once dreamed of – a long time ago. Gradually coming to her senses she looked around her. Right here was her dream job; she was living her current dream although as she reflected, it was turning out to be something of a nightmare lately.

Could she keep living like this, caught between loving a man who was still loved by another or was this her chance to make a fresh start?

She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. So many conflicting thoughts bounced against each other in her exhausted brain as she thought about Jon and how much he meant to her. Deep down she knew what she should do. Remove herself from the equation and let him fix his marriage.

But what if it can’t be fixed – what then?

Rising from the sofa in somewhat of a daze, she wandered over to the front window to stare out at the snow covered landscape. The last of the winter sun’s rays were just streaking across the sky breaking through the heavy snow clouds. Clasping her hand to her heart she summoned all her energy to one person.

Tell me what to do Steve……..if you’re up there somewhere like I think you are……..what do I do?

Chapter Sixty One

Following an overnight stay in the local medical centre as a precaution for concussion, Jenn fidgeted anxiously in her hospital bed. The crisp dazzling white linen that surrounded her with the sterile magnolia walls were making her itch for a shower. She could still feel the ground in dirt in her hair from the night before but the police wouldn’t let her shower until they had taken what DNA evidence they needed to prosecute the guy. Two officers had just left her room after finishing what seemed like the umpteenth interview and had scraped her finger nails to the point where she was getting irritable. Right now she just wanted to get out of here.

As if on cue her ride home appeared at the door, freshly showered with a bright smile that only half concealed the exhaustion in his eyes. Yesterday’s events had taken their toll on everyone.

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?” Jon leaned against the doorjamb idly swinging a bag from his right hand.

“Hey……..” She smiled wearily at him, truthfully she had a banging headache but she was afraid if she said anything they’d keep her here longer. “Okay I guess, I just want to go home.”

Moving to set the bag down on the floor, he sat carefully on the bed beside her and leaned across to gently brush her lips. “I brought you some fresh clothes, Steph got them from your room.”

In all the commotion Jenn had completely forgotten about the teenager she was supposed to be minding. Guilt seared through her as she thought about what she had put everyone through yesterday. A small tear escaped from the corner of her puffy left eye.

“Hey………what’s all this about?” Gently wiping it away, Jon looked at her in concern.

“I just………..God Jon I’m so sorry, I should have just gone home yesterday and instead I went and made things ten times worse!” Her lower lip trembled as she hung her head in shame. “I wasn’t thinking about anybody except myself!” Another tear followed the first as she looked mournfully back up at him. “As if you didn’t have enough to deal with yesterday!”

Sitting up straight Jon took both her hands in his own and fixed her with a stern look. “Jenn you listen to me right now, yesterday was NOT your fault, it was nobody’s fault except for that bastard that I’m gonna make sure rots in jail for the rest of his sorry ass life, you hear me?”

She nodded mutely at him, feeling miserable. It was all her fault, she knew that no matter what he said. Giving her hands a final warm squeeze, Jon shifted himself off her bed. “I’m gonna go sign you out of here and then I’m gonna bring you home and you’re gonna let me take care of you, okay?” He waited for her dejected nod and with a reassuring smile left the room.

She waited until she was sure he was gone before she lifted her shaking hands to her bruised face. Quiet sobs escaped her lungs as she wept, each gulping breath making her body ache. How had she made such a mess of things?

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A few days later she sat curled up under a throw by a roaring fire that Jon had just lit for her before he went over to see Dorothea. She was feeling much better physically, the bruising and swelling slowly reducing in size but emotionally she was still exhausted. Jon had been the perfect nurse, bringing her all sorts of delicious foods from a local deli to entice her to eat and sitting quietly with her in his arms at night. She should have wanted for nothing more but the guilt was consuming her. Although he said nothing, she knew Jon was also going through his own emotional hell. Relations with Dorothea were no better, she refused to talk to him and he came back from his visits to see his kids tense and weary.

Funnily enough after all the crazed media at the start of this thing, the lawyers had been right. Once they had officially announced the divorce, interest seemed to have melted away. Steph had reluctantly moved back home, protesting that she wanted to take care of Jenn but Jon had gently yet firmly insisted he was more than capable of doing that himself. Although Jenn missed the young girl’s chatter, Jon had been right in taking her home. Dorothea needed her daughter around her.

Snuggling into the plump cushion behind her head, she watched the flickering flames in the grate. Although Jon repeatedly told her everything was going to be fine she couldn’t see how it ever could be. He had a soon to be ex-wife who was still very much in love with him, four kids who needed their parents to be together and a stupid Irish woman that was also in love with him. It was an impossible situation.

A knock on the front door dragged her attention back from her thoughts. She yelled out at whoever it was to come on in and smiled at Paul when he padded through from the hall in his socks.

“Hey you. Have a seat, it’s cosy in here!” She nestled further under her throw stretching out on the sofa.

“So I see! How are you feeling?” He sat down in an armchair opposite her and looked concernedly at her. 

“Okay……getting there.”

“One day at a time huh?” He smiled encouragingly at her, his hands kneading nervously together.

“What’s wrong?” Jenn knew the look on his face all too well, there was something he wasn’t telling her.

“Nothing!” he said it a little too quickly for her liking. “No, no. Nothing at all!”

“Paul! Spit it out!” Sighing she sat up to exasperatedly look across at him. His worried eyes met hers for a moment before he began to speak.

“Okay, thing is you’re really not gonna believe this…….the timing is unreal.” He shook his head in slight disbelief. “You have some visitors.”

“Who?”

Before answering he raised his hands in anticipation of her response. “Now you don’t have to see them if you don’t want to! I told them you’d had a little accident and might not be up to it.” He stopped talking just long enough to roll his eyes. “They just showed up…….again!”

Confusion at his cryptic answer muddled her already tired brain. Who on earth was he going on about? She raised her hands questionably at him as she failed to think who could be here. His next words floored her.

“Karl and Nancy.”

Steve’s parents? Here? AGAIN??

Chapter Sixty

A sea of flashing neon lights was the first sight to greet Jon and Richie as they screeched around the corner.

“Sweet Jesus…” Richie uttered the words in dread as he took in the ambulance parked near the platoon of patrol cars. Jumping from the car before the wheels had even stopped moving, Jon raced over to the ambulance only to be stopped by a uniformed officer.

“Sir you’ll have to stay here!” He firmly indicated the police cordon, placing himself in front of Jon to block him from going any further.

“The hell I will! Where is she?” Snarling ferociously Jon glared wild eyed at him.

Richie running up behind him put a calming hand on Jon's shoulder before he tackled the officer to the ground. “Take it easy man.”

When the police chief had called Jon to say they’d found her but that she had been involved in some sort of incident, the blood had drained from his face instantly. Although Jon pressed him for details he wouldn't elaborate further just giving the address and advising him to get over there. The car had hit the road in spots as Jon had gunned it to the scene. Whatever he had been expecting it wasn't this, the sight of that ambulance had made his blood run cold.

“I swear if you don’t let me……”

Right before Jon threatened to knock the young officer’s lights out; the chief of police spotted him and hollered at the officer to let them past. Brushing past him, Jon marched straight towards the ambulance before the chief intercepted him.

“Hold on Jon, the paramedics are with her right now.” The burly man with greying hair put a hand on Jon’s shoulder to reassure him. “Just give them a few minutes okay?”

“What the hell happened Mike?”

The Chief's grim face spoke volumes. “Some guy jumped her down a side street and I dunno how but she somehow managed to fight him off.” He glanced across at a patrol car that was just pulling away with all lights flashing. “We got here just in time before he made a run for it - he’s in custody.”

“Is she okay? Tell me she’s not hurt Mike dammit!” Curling his fists by his side in frustration, Jon paced up and down in front of his old friend. He had been friends with him since he’d performed at a fundraising event for fallen officer's widows years ago.

“Calm down Jonny, she’s in safe hands now.”

Just as Jon was about to explode with frustration, a paramedic came around from the back of the ambulance peeling off his white latex gloves. “Chief, we’re good to roll!”

“Hang on one minute okay?” Calling back to the paramedic, Mike turned and nodded at Jon, “Alright Jon, go on ahead.”

He needed no further encouragement as he charged around the side of the rig to the open doors at the back. What he saw nearly stopped his heart dead. Sitting upright on a gurney being attended to by another paramedic, Jenn’s bloodied and dirty face gazed back at him. When their eyes locked, her battered face crumpled as she made to jump off the gurney to get to him. Before she could move a muscle however he was by her side, strong arms gently cradling her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

“I'm so sorry, so sorry!”

“Sssh baby, I got you, hush you've nothing to be sorry for!” he crooned into her tangled and twisted hair, tears running freely down his own face.

“So stupid…I shouldn't……” The sobs racked her body, making talking difficult. “All my fault…”

The medic who had been tending a cut above Jenn’s left eye had initially stood back to make room for Jon as he jumped in. Moving closer to the embracing pair he gently cleared his throat.

“We need to get moving here folks.”

When Jon made to straighten up, Jenn clutched desperately to him, her shoulders still shaking. He resumed gently rocking her, trying to soothe her fears as he looked directly at the paramedic. “ I'm riding with you.”

The medic eyed him for a moment and then nodded curtly in acknowledgement. Just as he went to close the back door, Richie’s concerned face poked through.

“Jon, I’ll meet you there okay?” 

“Thanks Rich.” Turning to look back at him, Jon nodded. “See you there.”

With the rig beginning to move, he turned his attention back to Jenn, her tears beginning to subside. As she looked up at him with one eye bruised and starting to rapidly swell, he tenderly wiped away her tears with his thumb.

“You’re gonna be okay baby,” He smiled down into her dark eyes that still swirled with panic. Relief that he’d found her alive and breathing poured over him, his mind remarkably crystal clear for the first time all day.He meant the next words he uttered with his every being.

“We’re gonna be okay, I promise.”

Chapter Fifty Nine

Huddled in the darkness, Jenn shook with fear as the footsteps she could hear getting closer suddenly disappeared. She had ended up on a side street of sorts and there were no street lamps to help her decipher the shadows. Whoever was there had surely heard the tremendous clatter of the toppling steel cans but they seemed to have melted into the darkness.

You stupid woman Jenn! You stupid, stupid woman! Chiding herself for allowing this situation to happen she pressed her head against the cold wall and steadily counted silently to ten. When she could still hear no further movement, she slowly inched her way upwards praying her knees would support her on the slippery pavement. Once upright she cautiously took a step forward and released her grip from the wall. Snowflakes fluttered against her cold cheeks, coating her eyelashes as she blinked rapidly scanning the darkness. Cautiously she stepped around the fallen lids and scattered black plastic bags that she could just make out at her feet. The street corner that she had turned down was just metres away, a chink of light from an overhead lamp on the main street beckoning the way.

Silently placing one foot in front of the other she edged her way towards it, each painfully slow step taking her further away from the dark alley and whoever or whatever was down there. Just as she was about to breathe a sigh of relief at reaching the corner, too late she heard footsteps pound up behind her. Making a lunge for the corner, she cried out as a heavy hand covered her face yanking her backwards. The force of it caused her feet to fly out from under her on the slippery surface, her arms flying to her neck to grab the arm that was holding her in a vice like grip. She half landed in a heap, only kept upright by her assailant who was dragging her backwards past the trash cans once more.

Prevented from screaming by the hand roughly scrunching up her face, she kicked out with all her might sending the rest of the heavy cans tumbling noisily on their side. In the distance she could hear a dog barking but apart from the heavy grunts of the monster that held her captive there was no sign of help coming. Twisting and fighting she clawed into the darkness, her boots scrabbling to find a grip on the ground. With a sudden thrust, she was propelled around to face back down the alley, her attacker now behind her forcing her forwards still with an unyielding grip around her neck and face. Almost choking her nostrils flared in an attempt to get air into her lungs, a stale gut wrenching smell from the man’s fingers making her wretch. On her knees now, she could feel a leg either side of her as he kept dragging her forwards practically straddling her in his efforts. Her arms grabbed onto them, punching and kicking as she tried desperately to escape. He never once uttered a word, his heavy breathing the only sign of his labours. When he slowed to readjust his grip on her neck she seized the opportunity and launched herself forward, managing to get her feet in front of his legs as she kicked backwards with all her might. A loud grunt confirmed she’d hit home as she felt him stumble and momentarily release her face. 

Twisting around to look up at him, she could only see the faintest outline of his head as he towered above her. With as much force as possible she kicked upwards in the direction of his groin, her boot finding its target as he made a swipe at her head. Groaning loudly he fell to one knee, landing awkwardly on top of her as she squirmed sideways. She was free from him now except for the fist he had curled around her hair. Before she could prise his fingers free, he slammed her face down into the ground beside him. Her cheekbone reverberated from the force of the weight behind her head as wet snow and dirt smeared her forehead. A band of pain travelled sharply across her forehead and down the length of her nose as she pushed on her arms with all her might to propel herself backwards. The man began to rise slowly, his left hand keeping her face pinned to the ground as he bent over her.

“Try again and I kill you.” He growled his first words into her ear in a heavily affected accent. She instantly recognised it as Eastern European, Polish maybe but she couldn’t be sure. She froze as he spoke, intensely aware that given his height and weight he could snap her neck in an instant. A renewed sense of panic surged through her as he wedged his right knee on the back of her neck with enough pressure to nearly but not quite cut off her airflow. Coughing and spluttering in the ground up dirt she flailed her arms around her feeling her right hand feebly hit against him. A draught of icy air flew up her spine as she felt a hand creep under her shirt. NO! This was NOT going to happen!

Anger surged through her brain, giving her body a renewed wave of strength. Ignoring the sharp jolt of pain in her neck as she violently shimmied left, her right hand jabbed out and latched onto the first thing she could feel, was it was she didn’t know but it felt like skin. Her fingers sank into him, twisting and pulling until he shouted with pain. Refusing to let go, he dragged her upright with him as he stood and amidst the confusion she could make out she had hold of the skin of his neck, just under his jawbone. The next thing she knew, stars were exploding in her left eyeball as he punched her with such force that she had no option but to let go as she went careering back down to the pavement. Dazed she still knew she was facing back towards the street where there were lights that were literally less than fifteen metres away. Survival instincts kicked in and she rolled away from the man who she knew was only inches behind her still roaring furiously. A string of foreign expletives met her ears as she stumbled to her feet and staggered for her life towards the corner.

Bursting out onto the street, she tripped and caught herself just before she hit the ground crying out hoarsely for help. A blaze of flashing lights to her left spun her around as she continued to put as much distance between herself and that alleyway as possible. An immeasurable wave of relief flooded her senses as the wail of a siren identified the lights to be that of a patrol car. Waving her arms, she stumbled towards it only sinking to her knees when it stopped in front of her and two officers jumped from it.

“Ma’am, stay where you are!”

Gasping for air, she pointed frantically behind her to the alley, “Down there, he’s down there!” 

The Final Curtain

Fields of Gold as I'm sure you've all pretty much guessed by now is I'm sorry to say reaching it's climax. I'm somewhat melancholy writing this because back in 2008 when I first conjured up these two wonderful characters I would never have guessed that I would be sitting here typing this in 2012. It has been an amazing journey during which I have discovered so many things about my writing abilities - some good and some not so good!

I would never have published this if it hadn't been for the encouragement of some wonderful people who have both inspired and motivated me to keep this story alive. So I am immensely grateful to them!

Then there are all of you, Jenn & Jon's devoted followers. Without you, some of whom have been here since the beginning and those of you that have arrived mid journey, I can most emphatically state I would not be writing this today! So from the bottom of my heart, Thank You! Your comments have made me laugh and smile and without your encouragement I dread to think what might have happened to these two!

There is one special person (who knows who she is) that I simply cannot thank enough, the friendship that we have because of this story is amazing and if I could cross the ocean I'd thank you in person! You are a wonderful friend!

We have a couple more chapters to go which I hope you enjoy as much as I did writing them!! And a little something tells me this might not be the last you hear of Jenn & Jon!

Emerald Isle 22nd January 2012

Chapter Fifty Eight

“Karen?! Are you there? Hello?”

Jenn stared at her cell in confusion until it registered with her that the phone was lifeless.

“Well fuck!”

Swearing in annoyance she flung it onto the soft bench beside her. What the hell else could go wrong today? From her corner of the bar she grumpily surveyed the scene. She had moved from her position at the bar counter when the place had started to fill up with customers who gave her funny looks as they’d entered. Obviously locals who weren’t used to seeing a stranger in their watering hole. She had wiled the past couple of hours away lost quietly in thoughts about her past, present and indeed her future. When she couldn’t take anymore reasoning with herself she had dialled Karen’s number. True to form, her best friend had been as dramatic as ever exclaiming and swearing down the phone as Jenn had filled her in on the morning’s events.

Just as she had been about to divulge where she was calling her from the battery had died. Sitting back she thought about her friends last words of advice to her.

Trust your heart Jenn, if it’s meant to be then it’s meant to be – go with it honey.

It was as if she had just needed that little bit of external affirmativeness to drill home what she already knew. Divorce or no divorce, whatever way this was gonna turn out she wasn’t going to regret it. Not a bit of it, life was far too short, of that she was sure.

Getting to her feet a little unsteadily, she grabbed her coat and defunct phone from the seat beside her and drained the last of her beer. Ignoring the stares from the collection of greasy men sitting at the bar and tables she threaded her way amongst them to find the door. The dark night that greeted her took her by surprise as she pulled on her coat. Crap! What time is it? Without her phone she had no idea but judging by the quiet street and lack of traffic it was late. She had never intended to stay out this long, Paul was probably going nuts! She was in no state to drive but with no phone she had no numbers to call anyone. Weighing up her options she decided the best course of action was to get back to her car, she was pretty sure there was some kind of headed paper in it somewhere with the farm’s contact details. She’d find a pay phone then and call Paul to come get her – simple!

Pleased with her rational thinking as she wobbled off down the dimly lit sidewalk, her breath hung frozen in the air before her with every step she took. It was freezing hard, she could feel her boots slip along the untreated pavement on a thin layer of frost. Shoving her hands as deep into her pockets as she could, she kept her chin tucked into her chest in an effort to keep out the biting cold. Her head, somewhat fuzzy from all the beer she’d consumed over the course of the afternoon seemed to be the only warm part of her body.

Ten minutes later she rounded the corner onto the lot where she had left the car, or at least where she thought she’d left it. There was no boarded up gas station and definitely no car. Whipping around she frantically looked all around her. She was in unfamiliar territory; there was nothing at all that she recognised. Panic rose in her throat as she pushed forwards, maybe she just hadn’t gone far enough. Another five minutes and she knew she was in trouble, every step was taking her further down streets with boarded up doors and iron grilled windows.

Spotting a group of people up ahead she breathed a sigh of relief, at least they could tell her where she was. Approaching them, her heart leaped as the group of youths turned to look at her. Hooded with scarves covering most of their faces, they made a menacing sight. These were not the people for a woman, lost in a strange town on her own to ask for directions. Changing tactics, she sped up her pace to cross the street. Cat calls and whistles sent shivers down her spine and she bit her lip to stop a frightened whimper escaping from her throat. Keeping her eyes forward, she hurriedly walked to the bottom of the street, cutting around the first corner she came to. A sudden loud clatter made her stumble and cry out as she tripped over a collection of trash cans. Tears flew down her cheeks as she grabbed the wall to steady herself. She couldn’t ever remember feeling this scared before.

Breathless and cold, her blood pounded between her ears as she slumped down beside the one trash can she hadn’t upturned. She desperately needed help but she had no idea where it was going to come from. Heavy footsteps came into her hearing range to her right, scanning the darkness she held her breath, willing herself not to scream as they came closer.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Where the fuck is she??”

Jon was violently pacing the floor of Jenn’s living room, watched by Paul and Sue. He had spent the afternoon driving around but with no sign of her, he had come back presuming she had slipped in without anyone noticing.

“It’s been HOURS!” Running a hand through his hair, he stopped up short looking at them in despair.  “Something’s happened to her, she would have called by now!”

Paul, worry etched across his face lifted his arms in frustration. “The cops say they can’t do anything until somebody’s been missing for twenty four hours.”

“To hell with that!” Snarling Jon punched a few numbers on his cell and growled into it. “Yeah? Get me the Chief straight away!”

Sue looked worriedly from Jon to her husband, he was right, this wasn’t like Jenn. Paul placed a comforting arm around her trying to reassure her when in truth he was scared to death. The last time Jon had seen Jenn had been around midday which was about nine hours ago. When she had texted him to say she was okay it had been just after one pm, that was the last any of them had heard from her.

They both watched as Jon snapped orders down the phone. “I don’t care what you have to do, get as many cars out there as you have and find her dammit!”

A knock on the door had them all jumping to their feet in the hope that it was Jenn but instead Richie’s beanie clad head appeared. Jon spun around, hanging up the phone only for his face to fall as Richie greeted him grimly.

“Hey man, no news?”

“None.”

“Any luck with the cops?” Paul asked hopefully, his arm back around Sue.

“They’re on it now but we should get back out there. More of us looking the better.” Jon stared out the window at the darkness for a moment before turning to Sue, “Will you be alright here?”

“I’m fine; I should be here in case she comes back. Karla knows to keep Steph down with her; I think they were gonna watch a movie or something. It’s best Steph doesn’t know about any of this unless she has to.”

Nodding in agreement, Jon grabbed his car keys; “Rich you’re with me, Paul you’re gonna go east?”

“Yeah, I’ll check in with you after a while.” Bending over to give his wife a kiss and a quick squeeze he whispered in her ear, “Don’t worry, we’ll find her okay?”

She held onto his arm as Jon and Richie departed out the door, her eyes filled with concern, “I love you, stay safe.”

~~~~~~~~~

Cruising slowly through the suburbs, the two men silently scanned the empty streets. Light flakes of snow were beginning to fall gently from the night sky, fluttering onto the windshield in a hypnotising flurry.

“If something’s happened to her Rich, I’ll never forgive myself.” Jon gripped the steering wheel tightly, his eyes darting from side to side for any sign.

“We’ll find her Jon, she has to be somewhere.” Richie reassured him as best he could, sounding more confident than he felt. “Just stay positive.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that?” Jon snapped back at him, instantly regretting it. “Sorry Rich, I’m just…….” He trailed off, his words caught up in his throat.

“I know bro, I know…”

They both jumped as Jon’s cell rang loudly from the dash. Grabbing it, he nearly dropped it as he fumbled to hit the answer button.

“Yeah?…….WHERE?”

Richie had to put out a hand to stop himself from being flung forward as Jon stood on the brakes. Looking over to Jon, his stomach filled with dread as he saw the horror in his friend’s eyes. “What is it? Have they found her?”

Jon held the cell motionless in his hand as he stared back at him, his face ashen.

“They found her car……….there’s no sign of her Rich…….Jesus Christ……..it’s in the worst possible part of town!”

Chapter Fifty Seven

As Jon drove over to the farm, his cell bleeped with a message from the lawyers to say the statement about the divorce had been released as planned. Shaking his head ruefully he tossed the phone onto the passenger seat. How’s that for fucking timing? He’d managed to evade any attention as he left the house by the side entrance and the roads were mercifully quiet. Swinging into the farm, he drove by the yard and straight over to Jenn’s house. Immediately he noticed the absence of her car, he could only hope she was just taking some time out before she came back.

A quick look into the house confirmed nobody was home and when he reached the barn he found that devoid of human activity also. Muttering to himself as he wandered back out into the sunlight he almost collided with Sue coming bustling around the corner.

“Jon!” She made no effort to conceal her surprise at seeing him. “We didn’t expect to see you here today!”

A weak smile was all he could muster as he shrugged his shoulders. “Hey Sue, I guess I don’t really have anywhere else to be right now…..any idea where Steph is?”

She took in his tired appearance, the tousled hair and pale pallor of his skin and made a quick decision. “I’m pretty sure she just went out on a trail ride with Karla so she’s probably gonna be a while”, she smiled cheerfully at him in an attempt to bolster his spirits, “I was just about to make some coffee, why don’t you come and have a cup with me?”

“Sure, why not….” Walking beside Sue back up the bath to the main house he cautiously asked a question, “I don’t suppose you know where Jenn is?”

“Uh……..I think she might be gone shopping…” Sue’s panicked attempt at a little white lie made him smile inwardly. He might have known Jenn would have sworn them to secrecy if she had told them anything at all. Stopping on the path he gently took her arm in his own.

“Sue you know as well as I do that Jenn doesn’t ‘do’ shopping….unless it’s for a damn horse!”

Sue blushed as she shot him an embarrassed look, “Okay that was a pretty awful cover up but I’m not supposed to say!”

“Not supposed to say what exactly?” His pulse quickened as he unintentionally tightened his grip on her arm. Was there more he didn’t know about?

“She got directions for your place off Paul this morning, I think she might have been going over to see your ……eh…to see Dorothea?” Sue fumbled her words awkwardly.

Releasing his grip, Jon sighed with relief. “It’s okay Sue, you’re off the hook, I know about that, I haven’t seen her since though.”

“Ah, right. Well in that case I’ve no idea where she is, sorry!” Side by side, they continued up the path to the back door of the house. “Did you try her cell?” Opening the screen door, she ushered him into the house in front of her.

“No…….I’d rather talk to her in person……..it’s complicated…” Jon wiped his feet on the mat dropping his eye contact but not before Sue caught the quiet shadow of desperation that crossed his face.

Choosing not to probe further for the moment, she showed him to one of the comfortable wicker recliners by the French doors of the modest kitchen. Bustling about brewing the coffee, she made small talk about pretty much everything she could think of, going from the weather to Steph and the horses and ultimately ending up babbling about local politics of all things. Throughout it all, Jon answered politely with nods and inclinations but Sue noticed, he never once tore his gaze from his view of the farm avenue.

Handing him his coffee, she sank down in the recliner opposite wincing as the creaky joints of the chair protested loudly. They had been the only items from her parent’s old farmhouse that she had laid claim to and although they were shabby and worn, she point blank refused to let Paul throw them out.

“You’ve had quite the time of it lately haven’t you?” Observing the cloud of despair which seemed to be hovering over him she spoke softly, “Both of you have.”

He finally met her eyes as he reluctantly turned away from the window. She had always secretly marvelled at his startling blue eyes, Paul would never have let it drop if she had mentioned it but never before had she seen them look so haunted. She only had the briefest outline of what had been happening in his life lately from what her husband had told her but it was clearly obvious that events were taking a heavy toll on him.

“More than you could ever know Sue.” Sighing sadly he looked across at her. “She doesn’t deserve this……” He trailed off with a resigned shrug.

“No, that’s true, she doesn’t but I doubt you do either.”

“Whatever about me, my family’s problems are mine, they shouldn’t be hers.” He shook his head slowly staring back down at his coffee that he held nestled on his lap. “I should have been able to protect her from anymore trauma.”

“Did you ask her Jon?” Sue sat forward in her chair. “Did you ask her if she wanted to be protected?”

A mixture of confusion and surprise rippled through Jon’s brain. “What do you mean?”

“Jon, Jennifer O’Neill is the most independent, stubborn and proud person I know, so what I mean is I don’t think she expects you to do anything except love her………which I think you do.” Settling back in her chair, she sipped at her coffee as she watched him digest her statement. She was probably overstepping boundaries here but she couldn’t stand to see either of them go through anymore.

“She knew coming into this that your ‘situation’ was not simple, granted maybe she didn’t quite realise the extent of it but she hasn’t backed out yet Jon. And for what it’s worth I doubt she ever will, not now.”

She was a little taken aback to see moisture rimming his eyes before he quickly looked away. Without saying anything he took a swallow of coffee and stood up, the recliner squeaking noisily on the tiled floor as it was pushed back.

“I need to go find her………will you call me if she shows up here?”

“Of course.” Remaining seated, Sue looked up at him with concern, the man didn’t look like he was in any fit state to go driving. She had no idea what exactly had gone down between them all over at the house but it obviously hadn’t ended well. 

Placing his coffee cup in the open dishwasher, he straightened his coat and headed for the door not before stopping to look back at her.

“Thanks Sue……..and not just for the coffee. Tell Steph I'll be back later.”

With a quick smile, he was gone out the door and marching back to his car. Watching from her seat by the window, Sue sighed worriedly as she saw him accelerate up the avenue. What was to become of the situation she couldn’t tell but she hoped with all her heart that it could somehow be worked out. 

Chapter Fifty Six

Oblivious to the cold, Jon stared unseeingly across the glistening expanse of the river that flowed along the edge of the property. Birds swooping to catch flies hovering above the surface of the water failed to catch his attention as his brain whirled with the scenes he had just witnessed. He was struggling to comprehend what all this meant. From the moment he had seen Jenn’s car parked at the side of the house his brain had been in overdrive. He wasn’t sure what he had expected to find going on between the two women but when he heard Dorothea’s bitter words from the other side of the door he had been dumbfounded.

Her voice hadn’t sounded like the woman he’d been married to for nearly twenty years, that woman would never have sounded so bitter and twisted and quite frankly psychotic. The Dot he had fallen in love with all those years ago had always been carefree and overflowing with confidence. She had been the ‘go to’ girl for everyone with relationship problems, his band mates and friends included. She had used to openly laugh and joke about the crazy female fans he’d encountered on every tour, clawing and scratching their way over anything to get to him.

Sure they had both changed as they’d gotten older, the kids had come along but he had always felt that they had never been happier. How had that beautiful, loving woman morphed into the ruthless and acidic person that he had just witnessed purposefully trying to destroy him? Trying to destroy their marriage in an apparent attempt to save it? That made no sense to him whatsoever. He knew her mood swings had been seriously amped up lately but he’d just put it down to stress. Pacing up and down the bank, he muttered furiously to himself. Not once had he ever seen even a glimmer of doubt in Dorothea’s eyes about filing the divorce. She hadn’t even threatened him with it – she’d just produced the papers out of thin air. What the hell kind of master plan was that if she had never wanted them to split in the first place? Fuck! He swore loudly in frustration as he stopped pacing. And then there was Jenn….his thoughts shifted to the last image he had of her, standing between himself and Dot bewildered and shocked. Jesus Christ he’d unknowingly dragged her into a storm of gigantic proportions.

With a heavy sigh he lowered himself onto the crisp grass of the lawn and shifted himself forward until his legs dangled over the edge of the grassy, reed filled river bank. His heart rate was slowly returning to normal, his breathing not as laboured as it had been when he had first stormed out of the house. The rage was slowly evaporating but it was being replaced by a much heavier feeling of guilt. This was all his fault; he should have been paying more attention all those years ago.

The buzz of the engine of a small speed boat snapped him back to reality as he watched it rapidly come into view and then slow as it approached his stretch of the river. From his spot on the bank he could see several people on board and the undeniable silhouette of a camera lens. Fucking pap’s again! Growling in frustration, he quickly got to his feet and made his way back to the house.  He wasn’t surprised to see Jenn had left; she should never have had to witness what she had. Guilt rolled over him again as he remembered her stricken face as Dorothea had exposed the sham of their marriage. But, he reflected, it was a good thing she had, if Jenn hadn’t have come over he might never have discovered the truth.

The kitchen was empty; no sign at all of the scenes that had taken place here not half an hour ago. He stood still for a moment to gaze around at the familiar room, so many good memories and now some very bad ones to join them. Sighing heavily he debated whether to go find Dorothea or leave her be until his anger had abated some more. He had a lot of questions for her but right now he didn’t trust himself not to lose control if he heard any more bullshit.

Spying Steph’s laptop bag sitting on top of the dining table made his mind up. There was no way he could stay here any longer; knowing what he now did changed everything. Tucking the bag under his arm, he headed back for the guest house to pick up his bag. To hell with the media, the farm was gonna be his new refuge and he needed to find Jenn; she was the only thing in his life that made sense right now.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jenn drove for a few miles before pulling into the parking lot of a derelict gas station. Switching off the engine, she stared out the windscreen for a moment before giving in to the tears that she had managed to keep leashed until she was safely far away from that house. Her breath came in ragged short gasps as a band of pain flashed across her chest, her heart threatening to burst from her rib cage. Pressing a hand to her breast, she fought to control her lungs; tears that forced their way from her eyes ran unimpaired down her cheeks to drip onto the collar of her shirt.

She couldn’t do this anymore; she couldn’t be a part of whatever this was. Whatever this was turning into. Since when did falling in love get so complicated? With a frustrated howl she thumped her fist into the steering wheel so hard she recoiled in pain. Whimpering she rubbed it with her free hand, rocking back and forth in the driver’s seat to calm herself. What the hell was she going to do? Only a few hours ago she had made a solemn promise to herself that she wouldn’t back down from this, that she wouldn’t run. Oh how things had changed.

She wanted nothing more than to go home, curl up in bed and wake up from this awful nightmare. The one person she wanted to run to, she had just left behind her dealing with his own demons. She didn’t even know if he was hers to run to for Christ sake! Her best friend was thousands of miles away on a different continent, in a different time zone. She had never felt so alone, not even when her parents had died. At the thought of them, more tears spilled from her face, the pain in her chest increasing. God she missed them, were they looking down on her? Watching as she slowly but surely ruined whatever chance of happiness she had left in life?

A feeling of claustrophobia threatened to overcome her within the confines of the car. Still sobbing, she stumbled out onto the weed infested, cracked tarmac of the parking lot. Blinded by the onslaught of relentless, stinging tears she leaned back against the hood, the cold air doing little to dry her face. She stayed like that for several minutes, quietly willing her mind to clear itself of everything that had just happened. For whatever reason she couldn’t shake the image of Dorothea slumped on the floor, sobbing her heart out. Slowly her own tears dried as unbelievably she started to feel sorry for the woman who had just torn her heart out. For however bad she was feeling right now, she knew beyond all doubt that Dorothea right now was going through an unimaginable hell. She had brought this on herself yet Jenn knew it was an act of desperation. Thinking back on it she couldn’t quite believe how entangled Dorothea had let this whole charade get.

Slowly straightening up, for the first time she took in the scenery around her. The gas station hub stood boarded up and covered in graffiti, a sad looking sight to behold. In the distance beyond she could see taller buildings; ones that looked lived in and cared for. A walk was what she needed right now, anything to rid her head of the continuous replay of events. Pulling herself together she locked up the car and set off at a brisk pace down the side walk.

A few blocks down she turned onto what looked like a local amenity strip, grocery stores and a hair salon were but a few of the businesses lining the street. Pausing to look in the window of one, she caught sight of her reflection in the glass. She looked a fright, her eyes puffy and red, her cheeks flushed and her hair bedraggled from where she had ran her fingers through it so many times in desperation. Looking around her she spotted a small bar nestled at the end of the street. Hoping for a half respectable ladies room where she could freshen up, she hesitantly poked her head inside the door. A darkened, deceptively long room beckoned lined with one long bar and lower tables and stools dotted around the floor. Taking a chance she stepped inside, waiting for a moment to allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The place was empty except for a lone barman and one customer at the end of the bar who appeared not to have noticed her arrival. She spotted the rest rooms off to her right and hastily nipped across to take care of business.

A few minutes later she stepped back out, feeling somewhat better having adjusted her appearance in the grimy, half cracked mirror in the rest room. She was in a high class joint, that was for sure. The bar man had moved back up to the end of the bar that was now facing her. Rubbing down the top of the counter with a cloth that had seen better days, he eyed her suspiciously.

“Afternoon ma’am.”

“Er hi!” She smiled hesitantly, unsure whether to just make a run for the door or be polite.

“What can I get you?” Leaning on tattooed arms, he stopped polishing and looked at her expectantly.

“Eh…..actually…..” Just as she was about to politely decline and make her escape, something stopped her. “….actually a beer would be great…..thanks.”

Nodding his head, he placed a beer mat on the bar in front of him and turned to pull her a beer from one of the taps. Quietly pulling up a stool, she sidled onto it gingerly until she straddled it. Digging into her pocket, she pulled out a handful of bills and placed them in front of her. She had no idea how much beer cost over here, better to let him take care of it. Minutes later, a glass of frothy lager was in her possession, the condensation running down the side of the glass. The barman stood back silently, seemingly waiting for her to take a drink. Nervously she lifted it to her lips and took a long swallow. It was surprisingly light and slid down her throat, soothing the rawness from her earlier tears.

“Nice, thanks.” Nodding appreciatively, she offered a quick smile at the man who gruffly smiled back and took a few of the bills from her stash. Leaving her to it, he moved back to the end and resumed a conversation with his other customer. Left alone, she pulled out her cell and switched it on. She needed to check in with Steph but she just couldn’t face talking to her right now. She fired off a text to both Steph and Paul explaining that she had been held up and would be back in a few hours. 

Almost instantly her phone beeped with replies. First off the mark was Steph with a typically cheery one telling her to take her time and signed off with her trademark smiley face. Paul’s was perfunctionary and direct demanding to know where she was and if she was okay? With a grim smile she typed an equally direct reply reassuring him that she was fine and asking him to keep an eye on Steph. When his message came back telling her that Steph was fine and was hanging out with Karla, she relaxed and slipped the phone back into her pocket.

As she took another large swallow from her beer, she casually glanced up at the small television that was set into the back wall in front of her. The lunchtime news seemed to be just finishing up and resting her head against her upturned arm, she engrossed herself in following the low murmurings of the weather forecaster. This was normal she reasoned with herself, a normal mundane programme that she would watch every day and right now normal felt good.

Draining the last of her beer from the glass, she was just about to head back to the farm when her attention was snapped back up to the screen by a photo of Jon and Dorothea.

“Excuse me? Can you turn the volume up on that please?” She anxiously motioned to the barman as her eyes stayed glued to the screen. A reporter came into focus with more pictures of Jon and Dorothea rolling on a reel behind him. The barman, looking at her a little strangely duly did as requested and increased the sound.

Today’s announcement will come as no surprise to many as rumours of a split between the pair have been circulating since the weekend. Reps for Bon Jovi released a statement earlier confirming divorce proceedings are indeed underway. The couple have four children together and have been married for nearly twenty years.

The short segment ended with the presenter turning to his female co-presenter and giving her a smirk as he winked back at the camera.

Looks like Bon Jovi’s songs have come back to haunt him, he’s finally been shot through the heart but maybe he’s the one to blame?

Chortling to himself as the botoxed blonde tinkled a laugh back at him he moved onto his next story.

“You heartless bastard!”

Jenn swore aloud at the television, her face a picture of disgust. Slumping back down on her stool, she lifted her empty beer glass toward the barman who was staring at her in surprise over her outburst.

“Fill it up please.”

Chapter Fifty Five

Dorothea regarded Jenn coolly for several long moments, her arms still folded firmly across her chest.

“You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that much.” Her dark eyes held no humour in them as she stared Jenn down. Her lips formed a thin line as she let her last comment hang in the air before letting a fake smile flit across them, “There’s not many people in this world who would dare cross me in my own home.”

“Likewise!” Jenn fired back from her stance a few metres away, her tongue ready to throw back whatever barbs she was sure were headed her way.

With a small menacing laugh, Dorothea cocked her head to one side, “You just don’t get it sweetheart do you? You think you’ve been swept off your feet by Prince Charming and now it’s time for you to live the fairy tale.” A sneer formed at the corners of her mouth, “That’s all it is honey – a fairy tale, only in this case without Prince Charming but you’ll find that out soon enough.”

“Don’t you dare patronise me Dorothea! I may not have lived a celebrity lifestyle all the years of my life like you but I’m no fool!” Jenn could feel her temper simmering under the surface of her skin. From within the confines of her jeans pockets, her fists were tightly clenched. “I’ll live my life how I want to, not how you or anybody else feels I should. I’m not some silly teenage girl with a crush!”

She fought hard to stop the angry tears stinging the back of her eyes, she couldn’t let her emotions get the better of her now. “I’ve loved a man and I’ve lost a man once already in my lifetime so trust me, I know how that feels but the only one that could fix that was me. I learned to heal, eventually…”

She pulled a hand from her pocket to jab a finger in Dorothea’s direction. “It’s up to you whether you choose to do the same but just don’t get in the way of my happiness while you figure it all out!”

Feeling her legs threaten to buckle, she cleared her throat and made a move to go, “I’ll see myself out!”

Before she had so much as taken a step, Dorothea slapped a hand down on the counter, her eyes burning with rage as she practically spat at Jenn. “You say don’t take you for a fool? Well you’re nothing but a fool if you think he loves you! He might say he does but he never will! You’re just a pathetic distraction for him, something to run to when the going gets a little rough!” Her chest heaved from the effort it had taken to utter the spiteful words.

Jenn stood motionless, her head slowly shaking in disbelief. “Dorothea – get OVER yourself! Sweet Jesus woman! You need help – professional help! If you could only hear yourself!”

If she hadn’t have been shaking with anger, she might have actually taken pity on the bitter woman. Instead, her resolve only strengthened – there was no going back now.

“You need to accept your marriage is over and MOVE ON! For God’s sake – YOU were the one to end it!” Still shaking her head at the absurdity of Dorothea’s words, she strode for the kitchen door only to freeze as she went to push it open. Dorothea’s voice was barely audible but the venom was instantly recognisable.

“Home is where the heart is Jennifer and this is where Jon’s heart will always be. Here with ME and with OUR children in this house that we built together.”

Jenn turned around to gape incredulously at her, “You’re nuts! Seriously, are you for real? Are you overdosing on some sort of prescription medicine?” Hands on her hips, she continued to look at her in disbelief. “If you didn’t want to split from Jon then why in hell did you file for divorce?”

And just like that, all the strain and fury fell from Dorothea’s face leaving a hollow mask, devoid of any emotion except desperation. She dropped her eye contact with Jenn and slowly turned away from her to brace herself on the large kitchen sink, her shoulders slumped as she quietly replied.

“Because I thought he’d fight for me, I thought he’d fight for us.”

At that moment, a gust of wind could have blown Jenn clean off her feet. She felt sick to the core as her brain tried to digest what the other woman was saying. This was all some kind of sick joke, it had to be. “You mean you never meant for the divorce to really happen?”

“No……..”

Head spinning Jenn put a hand out to steady herself as she felt the kitchen door open behind her. Bewildered she turned and gave a gasp as she saw Jon standing there, his arms by his side, his face ashen. Dorothea oblivious to his presence continued,

“For so many years I watched as our family and Jon’s career blossomed, then somehow along the way we got lost, and then Romeo came along and for a while everything was good again.”

Jenn looked aghast from Dorothea to Jon who was still standing motionless, his eyes fixed on Dorothea’s back that was now starting to shudder from sobs.

“And then slowly we grew apart again, Jon got lost in his music as usual and I stopped caring……and it just went from bad to worse without us really noticing what was happening.” Stifling a sob, she sniffed loudly her voice trembling with emotion, “So I thought living apart for a while would help, give us some perspective, it was never meant to be permanent and then…….YOU came along and RUINED everything!”

Whipping around to Jenn with a renewed fury, her tear stained face paled as she caught sight of Jon standing silently behind her.

“Jon………!!”

His face was white with fury, every sinew and muscle tensed in his neck as he stared unblinking at his wife. His chest rose furiously with every breath he took, his fists clenched at his sides. When he began to speak, his voice was low and dangerous.

“You put me, our children, our lives through ALL this as part of some sort of sick gamble?”

Dorothea gasped, her mouth open as she stared back at him wide-eyed and panicked. She looked like a rabbit caught in headlights as she frantically searched for something to say. Jenn stood frozen to the spot, unsure of who or where to look at, never in her wildest dreams had she envisioned this happening.

When Dorothea failed to come up with any sort of a defence, Jon abruptly turned on his heel and stormed back the way he had come, the slam of the back door marking his exit. The loud noise reverberated through to the kitchen jolting Jenn to her senses and making Dorothea slump to the floor on her knees, loud sobs racking her thin body.

“Oh God, oh my God………what have I done?” She stared wild eyed up at Jenn, tear streaked mascara rimming the underside of her panicked eyes. “What have I DONE?”

 “I think you just ended your marriage for real….” Turning on her heel, Jenn followed in Jon’s wake, the sound of Dorothea’s anguished sobs filling her ears. 

Chapter Fifty Four

“Oh really?”

Dorothea’s sarcastic drawl was the first thing to greet Jon as he came out of the bathroom in the guest house. Jumping slightly he looked up to see her leaning against the kitchen door, her arms folded in obvious disapproval.

“Just when things were starting to get quiet around here, you show up! Smart Jon, real smart!”

Rolling his eyes, he breezed past her to pull a bottle of water out of the fridge. “Hey Dot, nice to see you too.” Draining half the bottle in one long swallow, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and leaned against the counter top. “I can’t get anything done in town while all this media crap is going on so here I am!” Raising his eyebrows defiantly, he dared her to challenge him. To his surprise she merely shrugged.

“Okay, so you’re here for a few days I guess?”

Jon nodded, “Looks like it, the formal ‘announcement’”, inverting his fingers he grimaced, “is being released later this morning so things might get hectic again for a while.”

She bowed her head, quietly studying the ornate floor tiles they’d imported specially from France when they’d built the place. She murmured without meeting Jon’s eyes, “And then it’ll all be official I guess.”

“I guess so.” Jon nodded mutely; it was a strange feeling, like balancing on the edge of a cliff, afraid to step forward yet terrified to go back. A strained silence hovered between them as they both took in what was about to happen in their lives.

Dorothea eventually looked up with a small sigh. “Jessie stayed home from school today; he doesn’t want to go back until things calm down.”

“I don’t blame him, I’ll spend some time with him later, make sure he’s doing okay with all of this,” taking another swallow of water he tossed the empty bottle in the trash. “How about Jake and Romie?”

“They seem okay, the school’s been great about keeping an eye on them”, she eyed Jon somewhat hesitantly, “Have you talked to Steph today?”

“No, not since yesterday morning. I’m gonna head over there now while everything’s quiet.”

“Can you bring her laptop with you? I forgot it last night.”

Jon nodded, inwardly wondering why she was refusing to meet his eyes again. “Sure, she was okay last night?”

“She was fine, just fine. I’ve got some stuff to do in the house; can you call over for it before you go?” She started to turn for the door, hastily ending the conversation. Jon eyed her with suspicion, something wasn’t right here.

“Dot, is everything alright?”

“No Jon, of course everything is not ALRIGHT! How can it be?” Running her hands through her long dark hair that hung loose around her shoulders, she snapped in frustration at him. “I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you later.”

He stared after her, watching as she marched down the path, hair swinging behind her. At one time in their lives, he could have read her every mood like a book. These days, it was pot luck and more often  than not he got that wrong. Turning back to the counter he grabbed the keys to the studio. At least he was guaranteed some peace and quiet there.

~~~~~~~~~~

Taking her foot off the accelerator, Jenn let the car slow to a gentle cruise down the road. Checking the directions once again, she silently cursed as they made no sense whatsoever. Damn Paul and his stupid sense of direction! Scrunching the paper into a ball with her fist, she flung it to the seats behind her and hit the accelerator again. She had to be close, she was sure she was on the right road, the river glistened to her left which according to Paul’s directions, meant the house should be on her left anytime now. Trouble was, he had forgotten to specify exactly which house it was. She had passed several huge sets of electric gates with imposing avenues leading off to mansions just hidden from the naked eye. None of them unfortunately had given her any clue that they might be the one she was looking for.

Continuing down the road she contemplated pulling over to ask one of the several people out jogging until she spied a small cluster of people taking pictures at the next gateway. Straining her eyes, she slowed back to a crawl as she struggled to figure out exactly what they were doing. Her heart skipped a beat as she realised they were tourists, happily posing for shots and laughing as they swapped places behind each other’s cameras. This had to be it.

Indicating left, she cautiously pulled up before a magnificent set of wrought iron gates, her heart beating a little faster as the group of tourists started squealing excitedly and snapping pictures of her car. Sweet Jesus what in hell am I doing here? From a quick glance she reassured herself that there didn't seem to be any reporters among the group, she had completely forgotten that yesterday there was a load of them camping out here. Desperately scanning the brick pillars she spied a discreet keypad nestled in the one on the driver’s side. She really hadn’t thought this through at all; she was going to look a right idiot if Dorothea refused to let her in. Pulling the car as close to the pillar as she could, she stuck her arm out and nervously hit the call button. As she waited for a response, she noted the small security cameras perched atop each gate pillar. She could already feel eyes on her and they didn’t belong to the excited people behind her still getting snap happy with their cameras.

Just as she was about to admit defeat and back the car up, a stern voice crackled over the intercom.

Yes?

Her mouth dried up as nerves threatened to overcome her and she stuttered to get the words out.

“Eh…it…it’s Jenn…….Jennifer….O’Neill?”

When her response was met with silence, she closed her eyes and silently prayed for an escape route. This was such a bad idea! Staring desperately at the gates, she held her breath. Chances were pretty good that Dorothea had a sniper trained on her right now. Suddenly without any further noise from the intercom, the giant gates started to silently open and glide inwards. Taking this as her cue to enter, she put her window back up and nosed her car through the opening gates. A quick glance in her rear view mirror showed the gaggle of tourists, all women she noted, eagerly running to the pillars to crane their necks for a better view as she made her way up the brick laid drive way. Tall trees proudly lined the avenue leading up the huge house, their discarded leaves carpeting the kerb on both sides in a brown and orange mat.

As the house loomed large in front of her, her first thoughts were how neat and tidy everything was. A perfectly square large area of cream bricks formed a large open space stretching the width of the house, framed by foot high box laurel hedging. Stone flower basins dotted the corners and the middle of the square giving an open plan feel to the grounds. Slowly rolling up to the end of the drive, she spotted cars parked through an archway to her left. Driving through she found herself in another bricked courtyard, flanked by garages and what seemed to be another wing to the main house. Recognising Dorothea’s car from the night before, she pulled up beside it and applied the parking brake before killing the engine. Now what? Nerves were charging around her bloodstream, even making her calves tremble as she slowly unclipped her seat belt. Remember what you came here for Jenn, pull it together! Berating herself, she stepped out of the car, zipping her coat up as the cold air hit her. As she turned to face the house, what appeared to be a back door of sorts opened and Dorothea emerged, her face stony and stern. She stood silently, offering no welcome of sorts as Jenn quickly strode towards her.

“Steph is not with you?” Dorothea’s face registered surprise as she looked over Jenn’s head towards her car when she reached the door.

“No, she’s busy with the horses.” Jenn instantly realised how she’d been admitted so easily at the front gate. “I came to see you, in private.”

“I see.” From her perch on the back step, Dorothea made an intimidating sight. “You better come in then.”

Standing back to allow Jenn past her, she closed the door and motioned for her to go through to the kitchen. Upon entering, Jenn was blown away by the sheer size of the room. Spacious and tastefully decorated, it was exactly the type of kitchen she’d always dreamt of her fantasy house having. Under normal circumstances, she would have been gushing forth with compliments but she was not here for small talk. Wheeling around, she waited for Dorothea to follow her in, breathing deeply to control her emotions.

“So?” Dorothea closed the kitchen door behind her and stood at the opposite end of the kitchen space to Jenn, arms folded and her face defiant.

“Whilst I don’t expect an apology for your behaviour last night, I most certainly do expect your reassurance that it will never happen again.” Jenn forced her voice to remain level and firm, her eyes never dropping their contact with Dorothea’s for a second. Her pulse quickened at the look of outrage that flashed across the older woman’s face. She had hit a nerve already it seemed.

“Putting our personal differences aside, I would hope for the sake of your daughter that she never has to witness a spectacle like she did last night.” She was gratified to see the look of outrage change to one of surprised guilt as Dorothea blinked back at her. “She made no mention of it, but I know she heard every word that was exchanged between us last night and for me, that is unacceptable.”

Pausing for breath she held up a hand when Dorothea made to interject. “I’m not finished, you had your say last night, now I’m having mine. Quite frankly my relationship with Jon, is none of your business. Unless it directly affects you or your children, which up until last night it hadn’t, I don’t expect to ever have this conversation with you again. I highly doubt you and I will ever be friends, and I don’t need us to be but as adults, I would hope you can manage to be amicable. I’m prepared to make the effort if you are.” 

The little speech that she had rehearsed in her head on the drive over hadn’t come across nearly as well as she’d envisioned but judging by the rapidly changing looks on Dorothea’s face as she had rattled it off, it was having an impact of sorts. Stuffing her hands in her pockets, she waited for a response.

~~~~~~~~~~

Idly strumming a guitar, Jon’s musings were interrupted by the peal of his cell phone. Steph’s name flashed across the screen, instantly making him smile.

“Hey baby girl.”

“Hi Daddy, are you okay?” Her sweet concern instantly melted his heart.

“Sure I am, how you doin’?”

“Good, busy with the horses. Are you coming over here today?”

“Yep, sure am. Your Mom wants me to bring your laptop over.” Nestling the phone to his neck, he carefully put the guitar back on its stand. “In fact, I’m heading over there now. Anything else you want?”

There was a short pause before she replied. “You talked to Mom this morning?”

“Well yeah, I’m gonna stay here in Jersey for a few days. I saw her just a little while ago, why?”

“She didn’t say anything about last night?” The worry in her voice made Jon sit bolt upright in his chair. He knew something was up with Dot earlier.

“No she didn’t, what’s going on honey?”

Steph was silent on the phone causing Jon to urge a response from her. “Steph honey, whatever it is you know you can tell me.”

“I don’t want to cause any more trouble but….”

Jon’s face grew stormy and angry as he listened to his daughter recount what had gone on between Dorothea and Jenn the night before. While he knew he wasn't getting all the details, Steph told him enough for him to be able to figure out the rest.

“Steph baby, listen to me alright? I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t tell me something. You’re not causing any trouble, I’m just sorry honey that you had to hear all that.” His calm voice betrayed the fury that was seething in his veins.

“Daddy honestly it’s okay, I’m just worried about Jenn. I don’t want her to go.”

“Go? Go where?” Panic was added to the mixture of emotions in his head as he fought to figure out what she meant.

“I mean I don’t want her to go home, she was so quiet after Mom left last night and again this morning. I’m afraid she might leave.” Steph’s voice quavered slightly.

Jon was on his feet now, reaching for his coat as he headed for the door. “Don’t worry Stephie, I’m on my way over there now, I’ll talk to her okay?” Her next words stopped him dead in his tracks.

“She’s not here Daddy, she said she had some stuff to do this morning and left about an hour ago. She didn’t say how long she’d be.”

Even more panic coursed through his body as he frantically ran through the possibilities in his head. She wouldn’t just pack up and leave, would she?  Pulling the door to the studio behind him, he soothed Steph’s fears with the promise that he’d find her. Ending the call, he speed dialled Jenn’s number only to swear in frustration as her voice mail message came through. Jamming the phone back in his pocket, he angrily stormed down the path to the main house. It was time to sort this out with Dot for once and for all.