Chapter Fifty Six

Oblivious to the cold, Jon stared unseeingly across the glistening expanse of the river that flowed along the edge of the property. Birds swooping to catch flies hovering above the surface of the water failed to catch his attention as his brain whirled with the scenes he had just witnessed. He was struggling to comprehend what all this meant. From the moment he had seen Jenn’s car parked at the side of the house his brain had been in overdrive. He wasn’t sure what he had expected to find going on between the two women but when he heard Dorothea’s bitter words from the other side of the door he had been dumbfounded.

Her voice hadn’t sounded like the woman he’d been married to for nearly twenty years, that woman would never have sounded so bitter and twisted and quite frankly psychotic. The Dot he had fallen in love with all those years ago had always been carefree and overflowing with confidence. She had been the ‘go to’ girl for everyone with relationship problems, his band mates and friends included. She had used to openly laugh and joke about the crazy female fans he’d encountered on every tour, clawing and scratching their way over anything to get to him.

Sure they had both changed as they’d gotten older, the kids had come along but he had always felt that they had never been happier. How had that beautiful, loving woman morphed into the ruthless and acidic person that he had just witnessed purposefully trying to destroy him? Trying to destroy their marriage in an apparent attempt to save it? That made no sense to him whatsoever. He knew her mood swings had been seriously amped up lately but he’d just put it down to stress. Pacing up and down the bank, he muttered furiously to himself. Not once had he ever seen even a glimmer of doubt in Dorothea’s eyes about filing the divorce. She hadn’t even threatened him with it – she’d just produced the papers out of thin air. What the hell kind of master plan was that if she had never wanted them to split in the first place? Fuck! He swore loudly in frustration as he stopped pacing. And then there was Jenn….his thoughts shifted to the last image he had of her, standing between himself and Dot bewildered and shocked. Jesus Christ he’d unknowingly dragged her into a storm of gigantic proportions.

With a heavy sigh he lowered himself onto the crisp grass of the lawn and shifted himself forward until his legs dangled over the edge of the grassy, reed filled river bank. His heart rate was slowly returning to normal, his breathing not as laboured as it had been when he had first stormed out of the house. The rage was slowly evaporating but it was being replaced by a much heavier feeling of guilt. This was all his fault; he should have been paying more attention all those years ago.

The buzz of the engine of a small speed boat snapped him back to reality as he watched it rapidly come into view and then slow as it approached his stretch of the river. From his spot on the bank he could see several people on board and the undeniable silhouette of a camera lens. Fucking pap’s again! Growling in frustration, he quickly got to his feet and made his way back to the house.  He wasn’t surprised to see Jenn had left; she should never have had to witness what she had. Guilt rolled over him again as he remembered her stricken face as Dorothea had exposed the sham of their marriage. But, he reflected, it was a good thing she had, if Jenn hadn’t have come over he might never have discovered the truth.

The kitchen was empty; no sign at all of the scenes that had taken place here not half an hour ago. He stood still for a moment to gaze around at the familiar room, so many good memories and now some very bad ones to join them. Sighing heavily he debated whether to go find Dorothea or leave her be until his anger had abated some more. He had a lot of questions for her but right now he didn’t trust himself not to lose control if he heard any more bullshit.

Spying Steph’s laptop bag sitting on top of the dining table made his mind up. There was no way he could stay here any longer; knowing what he now did changed everything. Tucking the bag under his arm, he headed back for the guest house to pick up his bag. To hell with the media, the farm was gonna be his new refuge and he needed to find Jenn; she was the only thing in his life that made sense right now.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jenn drove for a few miles before pulling into the parking lot of a derelict gas station. Switching off the engine, she stared out the windscreen for a moment before giving in to the tears that she had managed to keep leashed until she was safely far away from that house. Her breath came in ragged short gasps as a band of pain flashed across her chest, her heart threatening to burst from her rib cage. Pressing a hand to her breast, she fought to control her lungs; tears that forced their way from her eyes ran unimpaired down her cheeks to drip onto the collar of her shirt.

She couldn’t do this anymore; she couldn’t be a part of whatever this was. Whatever this was turning into. Since when did falling in love get so complicated? With a frustrated howl she thumped her fist into the steering wheel so hard she recoiled in pain. Whimpering she rubbed it with her free hand, rocking back and forth in the driver’s seat to calm herself. What the hell was she going to do? Only a few hours ago she had made a solemn promise to herself that she wouldn’t back down from this, that she wouldn’t run. Oh how things had changed.

She wanted nothing more than to go home, curl up in bed and wake up from this awful nightmare. The one person she wanted to run to, she had just left behind her dealing with his own demons. She didn’t even know if he was hers to run to for Christ sake! Her best friend was thousands of miles away on a different continent, in a different time zone. She had never felt so alone, not even when her parents had died. At the thought of them, more tears spilled from her face, the pain in her chest increasing. God she missed them, were they looking down on her? Watching as she slowly but surely ruined whatever chance of happiness she had left in life?

A feeling of claustrophobia threatened to overcome her within the confines of the car. Still sobbing, she stumbled out onto the weed infested, cracked tarmac of the parking lot. Blinded by the onslaught of relentless, stinging tears she leaned back against the hood, the cold air doing little to dry her face. She stayed like that for several minutes, quietly willing her mind to clear itself of everything that had just happened. For whatever reason she couldn’t shake the image of Dorothea slumped on the floor, sobbing her heart out. Slowly her own tears dried as unbelievably she started to feel sorry for the woman who had just torn her heart out. For however bad she was feeling right now, she knew beyond all doubt that Dorothea right now was going through an unimaginable hell. She had brought this on herself yet Jenn knew it was an act of desperation. Thinking back on it she couldn’t quite believe how entangled Dorothea had let this whole charade get.

Slowly straightening up, for the first time she took in the scenery around her. The gas station hub stood boarded up and covered in graffiti, a sad looking sight to behold. In the distance beyond she could see taller buildings; ones that looked lived in and cared for. A walk was what she needed right now, anything to rid her head of the continuous replay of events. Pulling herself together she locked up the car and set off at a brisk pace down the side walk.

A few blocks down she turned onto what looked like a local amenity strip, grocery stores and a hair salon were but a few of the businesses lining the street. Pausing to look in the window of one, she caught sight of her reflection in the glass. She looked a fright, her eyes puffy and red, her cheeks flushed and her hair bedraggled from where she had ran her fingers through it so many times in desperation. Looking around her she spotted a small bar nestled at the end of the street. Hoping for a half respectable ladies room where she could freshen up, she hesitantly poked her head inside the door. A darkened, deceptively long room beckoned lined with one long bar and lower tables and stools dotted around the floor. Taking a chance she stepped inside, waiting for a moment to allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The place was empty except for a lone barman and one customer at the end of the bar who appeared not to have noticed her arrival. She spotted the rest rooms off to her right and hastily nipped across to take care of business.

A few minutes later she stepped back out, feeling somewhat better having adjusted her appearance in the grimy, half cracked mirror in the rest room. She was in a high class joint, that was for sure. The bar man had moved back up to the end of the bar that was now facing her. Rubbing down the top of the counter with a cloth that had seen better days, he eyed her suspiciously.

“Afternoon ma’am.”

“Er hi!” She smiled hesitantly, unsure whether to just make a run for the door or be polite.

“What can I get you?” Leaning on tattooed arms, he stopped polishing and looked at her expectantly.

“Eh…..actually…..” Just as she was about to politely decline and make her escape, something stopped her. “….actually a beer would be great…..thanks.”

Nodding his head, he placed a beer mat on the bar in front of him and turned to pull her a beer from one of the taps. Quietly pulling up a stool, she sidled onto it gingerly until she straddled it. Digging into her pocket, she pulled out a handful of bills and placed them in front of her. She had no idea how much beer cost over here, better to let him take care of it. Minutes later, a glass of frothy lager was in her possession, the condensation running down the side of the glass. The barman stood back silently, seemingly waiting for her to take a drink. Nervously she lifted it to her lips and took a long swallow. It was surprisingly light and slid down her throat, soothing the rawness from her earlier tears.

“Nice, thanks.” Nodding appreciatively, she offered a quick smile at the man who gruffly smiled back and took a few of the bills from her stash. Leaving her to it, he moved back to the end and resumed a conversation with his other customer. Left alone, she pulled out her cell and switched it on. She needed to check in with Steph but she just couldn’t face talking to her right now. She fired off a text to both Steph and Paul explaining that she had been held up and would be back in a few hours. 

Almost instantly her phone beeped with replies. First off the mark was Steph with a typically cheery one telling her to take her time and signed off with her trademark smiley face. Paul’s was perfunctionary and direct demanding to know where she was and if she was okay? With a grim smile she typed an equally direct reply reassuring him that she was fine and asking him to keep an eye on Steph. When his message came back telling her that Steph was fine and was hanging out with Karla, she relaxed and slipped the phone back into her pocket.

As she took another large swallow from her beer, she casually glanced up at the small television that was set into the back wall in front of her. The lunchtime news seemed to be just finishing up and resting her head against her upturned arm, she engrossed herself in following the low murmurings of the weather forecaster. This was normal she reasoned with herself, a normal mundane programme that she would watch every day and right now normal felt good.

Draining the last of her beer from the glass, she was just about to head back to the farm when her attention was snapped back up to the screen by a photo of Jon and Dorothea.

“Excuse me? Can you turn the volume up on that please?” She anxiously motioned to the barman as her eyes stayed glued to the screen. A reporter came into focus with more pictures of Jon and Dorothea rolling on a reel behind him. The barman, looking at her a little strangely duly did as requested and increased the sound.

Today’s announcement will come as no surprise to many as rumours of a split between the pair have been circulating since the weekend. Reps for Bon Jovi released a statement earlier confirming divorce proceedings are indeed underway. The couple have four children together and have been married for nearly twenty years.

The short segment ended with the presenter turning to his female co-presenter and giving her a smirk as he winked back at the camera.

Looks like Bon Jovi’s songs have come back to haunt him, he’s finally been shot through the heart but maybe he’s the one to blame?

Chortling to himself as the botoxed blonde tinkled a laugh back at him he moved onto his next story.

“You heartless bastard!”

Jenn swore aloud at the television, her face a picture of disgust. Slumping back down on her stool, she lifted her empty beer glass toward the barman who was staring at her in surprise over her outburst.

“Fill it up please.”